"'Ello Poppet"-- ENGLAND!

'Ello Harry Potter!!!! (Don't judge my British accent- or lack thereof)  After a year of experiences -both good and bad- that I will never forget, it was finally time to head out of the country that had been my home for a year.  I was overwhelmed with emotion as that last week rolled around.  I spent it having a wonderful time with my friends and the people who I'd come to think of as family.  We went out every day that week for food and fun as the time wound down.  The best night was Thursday when we had Fry Pan, drinks at buzz, and dancing at the club before getting 4 hours of sleep and going to work feeling a little woozy!  Yes I will miss Korea, and even more so, the friends I made while I was there.  

BUT NOW I AM IN THE LAND OF THE QUEEN!!!  Let's talk about my trip.

After Chicken and pizza- the customary "goodbye meal" for teachers at CJEC- I said a heartfelt and teary eyed goodbye to my CJEC family and walked away while my boss probably mentally clicked her heels (INSERT MIDDLE FINGER HERE).

 I went back to globalville and packed the rest of my stuff, checked out and waited for the taxi for taking the bus to Incheon Airport.  After the 3 hour bus trip, I arrive at the Queen Hotel and proceed to order my last Korean Dominoes pizza lol.  I washed my hair and made my last phone calls before trying to stifle my excitement long enough to sleep.  Finally, ZZZZZ ..... RING RING 6am wake up call.  Between 6 and 7 I repack, clean the room, chat with rob so we can share our excitement, and run downstairs at 6:58 to get on the 7 am shuttle to the airport.

Enter Issue Number 1- Luggage size
As you know, I had one big a** suitcase and a carry on which carried everything I own.  Unimaginable right?  Well I did it.  When I put my luggage on the scale it said 28.3 kg and the limit is 20 with a 5 kg grace.  #FAIL.  So there, right in the middle of the airport, I have to open my suitcase and take out a EVEN MORE of my stuff.  My quite expensive body oil, my black soap, my shea butter, my jeans and worst of all, a great deal of my makeup.  #Tears #EFFYOUCHINAEASTERN.  But finally my suitcases were ready to go.  Issue one- SOLVED

So I board plane number one with a happy smile hoping that everything else goes as planned.  NOPE

Enter Issue Number 2 (and by far the worst)- China Sucks
So I arrive in China and make way way through immigration and yet ANOTHER security check (really stupid if you ask me) before having JUST enough time to get on the the next plane.  I board and think all is well.  Little did I know that the BS had just begun.  Come to find out, air traffic control has prohibited flights because of the weather.  We sat on that plane in the same damn spot for not 2, 3 or even 4 hours... BUT 5 DAMN HOURS and I had no way of reaching Rob to tell him.  I tried to talk to the flight attendants about getting in touch with him in some way since I had no cell phone.  They just brushed me off.  The didnt give a damn about my black ass.

Thinks--- *So these people think Ima have my man waiting at the air port for 5 hours huh... ok ... i see what I gotta do*

 I was the picture of irritation and everyone was going to know.  I proceed to hit the call button about 6 or 7 times to try to get these people to understand the detriment of which they were about to bring upon themselves.  Each time they came, and each time they gave me some bullshit response- none of which kept my man from waiting 5 hours at the airport.  Enter ANGRY BLACK WOMAN.

"So you people think you just gon ignore what the hell Im saying?  You wont let me off this damn plane.  You wont let me get in contact with my boyfriend.  You just aint got no damn solutions huh?  Whats your damn Purpose?  Fuck China.  Fuck this airplane. and Fuck---"

Before I could tell them to each fuck their very own selves, a phone was produced for my usage.  Damn right.  I called Robert and all was well...except that I still have a 13 hours flight after 5 hours sitting on a plane.  #Killme.

DING "Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to England.  Local time 10:40 pm"  Finally.  Only one more thing to do before I can exhale and kiss the love of my life.

Enter Issue Number 3- Immigration
I had a one way ticket to England and was worried that they would send my happy ass right back where I came from.  That they would somehow know my true plan and in the Santa Voice from A CHRISTMAS STORY yell "HO HO HO" and shove me away.  I walked to the counter with my heart pounding and when he ask the purpose of my visit I merely said "To visit my boyfriend" and I kept the detailed story for if he had follow up questions.  But he didnt.  *STAMP STAMP*.  I was was through!  YAY!!!

Picked up my bags, and walked out and 10 minutes later I was in my honeys arms and on my way to my new casa.  ME LIKEY...Actually me LOVEY!  I'm finally here and relaxing and all is well with the world.  I guess I can finally....


*Exhales*

Pictures coming soon!

Things to know about Korea: SEX

So Yesterday I was basically keeled over in pain because of my massive monthly pains.  TMI?? Well get the hell off my blog then!  (Can you tell I still have it?) I could barely finish my classes because I was dead by the afternoon and my Co-teacher (the teacher who is kind of in charge of you)had to drive me home because I couldnt walk.  As I am sitting at my desk just now she starts asking me if I am ok and I explain to her that the 2nd day is always the worst for me and she says

"Don't worry, when you get married it will be better"

Me- "I don't understand"

Her- "Well you know when you are not a virgin anymore after you marry your period will get better"

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (pump your car breaks please)


STOP TRAFFIC

ME THINKING- "you got to be fucking kidding me right... I gets it in boo boo" (ghetto girl style)


WHAT I SAY INSTEAD- "Oooo yeaaa right, ok I see, I hope so hehehe"

Hmmmm can you say awkward?

Which brings me to my point:  PREMARITAL SEX in Korea is definitely not something you want to talk about with your co-teachers or bosses.  

I bet you are thinking "Why would I have to talk about sex with them anyway"?  Let me answer that question by providing another short real life scenario.

I was interested in looking into birth control a while back but being that I dont speak Korean it would make an informed doctors visit quite the difficult task.  I asked my boss if my friend Mindy (young korean teacher who is much more westernized and is actually my FRIEND) could be the person to take me to the ...ahem... lady doctor.  And she said NO IT MUST BE YOUR CO-TEACHER.  I explained to her that I did not feel comfortable talking to my co-teacher about lady things but she wasn't trying to hear it.  1. Because Mindy and I are friends and 2. Because if Mindy goes she can't get the scoop on everything I had to talk to the doctor about.  Nosey is the rule rather than the exception when it comes to the Korean Way.  

So I am supposed to go talk about Birth Control so I can have free and happy babyless sex with my honey pie with a woman who thinks I am a virgin and who will no doubt relay the message to the rest of the office?  Not a chance in hell.  On the other side of that, she is one of the sweetest women ever, and I'd rather not have her know all the business of my VagCookie.

POINT:  If you are coming to Korea, make sure you know what kind of birth control and things you need and remember that its definitely old fashioned here so if you aren't married they probably think you are a virgin!

I am so glad none of the other western teachers were in the office when this happened because I could just imagine the snickers I would have heard.

VAGINA MONOLOGUES COMES TO SEOUL

The VAGGIE talk is coming to Seoul this weekend... I'm gonna be there.  Are you!!!?? You should... Come out and talk about Vagina.  The best thing in the world IS VAGINA!!!  I plan on stepping out in some O so sexy attire...I mean... its just what I do!

WHO: The Vagina Monologues 2011 in Itaewon

WHAT: a fundraising show for The House of Sharing
WHEN: April 2 at 8pm (with The Total @ssholes performing afterwards)
AND April 3 at 2pm
WHERE: Roofers in Itaewon

COST: 10,000 won
LANGUAGE: English

SATURDAY-APRIL 2 AT 8pm (performance by the Total @ssholes after)
SUNDAY-APRIL 3 AT 2pm


DIRECTIONS TO ROOFERS:
Come out Itaewon station exit #3 and walk straight. You will see Dunkin' Donuts on your right. After Dunkin' Donuts turn right up the hill. Walk about 60 meters and ROOFERS is on your right on the 3rd floor.

ABOUT V-DAY & THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES:
V-Day is a global movement to end violence against women and girls that raises funds and awareness through benefit productions of Playwright/Founder Eve Ensler’s award winning play The Vagina Monologues. The Vagina Monologues is a show that was created after interviewing hundreds of women around the world about many different topics.

My apartment in Cheongju

I just realized that I dont have a video of my apartment here in South Korea.  Here we go.  For anyone thinking of moving here, Check it out...

Getting sick in Korea

This is so real... all I can say is watch and understand.  If you plan to teach in Korea, know that this is REAL!!!  Not just a joke!  Enjoy!

Shaina

My Job at Cheongju English Center-- City Center

My class this week is pretty cool.  They are kind of loud and Rowdy but they are pretty awesome.  I took a video and some lovely pictures of them.

This week I teach city center and it just so happened that I had my camera on the day my homeroom class came in.  They were quite the crazy bunch.

In the city center I have students listen to my "About me" power point and then they get a chance to draw their own city center on the board (pictures below).  When they finish, I go over each picture and pretende to judge them, then I give everyone reward point stamps.  After that we go through the City center power point (city center is downtown) covering everything you may see downtown; stores, shops, restaurants, clothing stores, ect.  Then we have a role play where students get a chance to be bank tellers, travel agents, postal workers and customers.  Super easy job. 

Random things to know about teaching in Korea-- PORK

Disgusted??  You should be.

I know it’s been a minute since I've talked about Korea, so I am going to try to include about 8 or 9 more blogs about the essentials before I leave the country and forget.  And one of the most important things for a healthy Diva such as me to know before venturing into the land of Kimchi, is that PORK is number 1.

Being that my parents are somewhat Rastafarian, I didn’t eat pork for about 15 years (with the occasional sneaky bacon when I went out to breakfast) but once I got to college it was a little harder to keep up that lifestyle.  However, contrary to most, my swine intake was still very small and ultimately limited to bacon and the sometimes very lean cuts they would put on the salads at food services (gotta miss Berea College).  Once I graduated from college and cooked all of my own food, I hardly ever had it at all.  Needless to say, things changed rather rapidly once I came to Korea. 

Pork is cheap and easily accessible here so it finds itself on my plate more often than any other food around.  Determined to not be “Diva-esque” when I got here, I tried my damndest to keep my mouth shut about the continuous ingestion of the bullshit swine other white meat, but that was short lived.  Every time the bosses took us out (and it’s rude to say no in Korea) pork was on the menu.  Everywhere I tried to grab something quick, a nasty pork snout was staring me in the face.  *INSERT EXTREMELY DISGUSTED DIVA FACE HERE WITH THE CAPTION “WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTY*.
So I started protesting any dinner that included pork and letting my disgust be well known.  Nicely, yet firmly, putting my stiletto down and refusing to partake.  Pre-Madonna much?  I thought so too.  So when this last dinner came around, the Diva in me acquiesced to the higher ups and went out for pork galbi.  BIG MISTAKE.

Enter FOOD POISONING stage right.  I am way to fly to be stuck on, and/or bent over the toilet.  Not my style.  And on top of that, I was sick for the next week and had to go to the hospital again and have a HORRIBLE thing done!!!!  The Diva was and is STILL kicking my butt for not sticking to my principles.

·         I will NOT be eating anything that comes from smelly disgusting pigs (except bacon when I get to England… Hypocritical?  SO WHAT!) I am putting pork right up there with mayonnaise, cottage cheese, and celery.

·         I will NOT go against my better judgment and do something that I don’t want to do to appear nice and easy going—I am nice, but I like what I like and I want what I want.  I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

At the end of the day, I like Korea overall, but I def miss the food of yesteryear.  

(FYI----Pig's bodies contain many toxins, worms and latent diseases. Although some of these infestations are harbored in other animals, modern veterinarians say that pigs are far more predisposed to these illnesses than other animals. This could be because pigs like to scavenge and will eat any kind of food, including dead insects, worms, rotting carcasses, excreta (including their own), garbage, and other pigs.) KILL ALL THE PIGGIES!!!

What foods do you hate and refuse to eat??

Dr. Fish and Ladies Day Out

Yes those are my feet inside a huge fish bowl and before you say "what the hell", let me explain.  This past weekend Geri, Lara, Jess and I went to Osan for a day of beautification and shopping.  First stop- ESCAPE SPA.  At this Spa you have the choice of beginning your experience with Dr. Fish.  Here, you stick your feet into a big tub with your friends (everything in korea is about bonding) and watch each other squirm as the fish eat the dead skin off their feet.  As someone who is extremely ticklish, I was laughing hysterically.  It took a while to get used to these little fishies nibbling at your toeies but when it was over my feet felt like butter.  After the Dr. Fish I got a lovely pedicure and a manicure and walked out feeling like love.  Then we went to the main street for some shopping.  We were taken to the "downstairs" of the purse store where I bought a lovely coach purse.  It's a nice one to hold me over until the end of the month when I go and get my Canvas Coach (real) from the Coach store in the Seoul.  Ohhhhh I am going to write a blog with all the stuff that I want after my biggest loser challenge!  Yep there is a nice long list.  Sorry, I digress.  Anyway, after we finished some "downstairs" purse shopping we went to a Brazilian restaurant and had all you can eat meat.  OMG.  I was dead from stuffed-ation.  It was great and horrible at the same time.  After we finished, we had to walk it off and so began our mission to find the "LOVE SHOP", after all, my guy is gone now you know *wink*.  This mission proved to be unsuccessful and we were disappointed so we just hopped in a taxi to go home.  As we drive down the street we see the sweet goodness of red hearts and the words "love" and "sexy" on the door and we begin to scream "YOGI-YO YOGI-YO" (HERE HERE) to the taxi driver as we laughed uncontrollably!  Awesome.  We walked into a world of lubes and dirty toys in what looked like the underground room in a HOSTEL movie and our laughing continued.  I left with a nice new fun item and some free lube that I will never use lol!!! TMI much???  ahahaha!  The day was great, fish eating my feet, mani, pedi, purse, meat, toys, and GREAT company!

Interested in the experience?? Here is the number.  031-665-9751 they speak fluent English and accept US dollars as well as Won.

Relaxing

Ticklish Geri

Brazilian Food

MEAT!

Busan Shark Diving

 This weekend my honey and I got the chance to go diving with sharks in Busan.  We met in Daejeon so that we could ride the KTX train together and of course, as with everything that is Shaina and Robert, there was a little drama with seats and cars, blah blah blah.  Eventually we got squared away, calmed down, and arrived in Busan, right at the aquarium on the beach.  We checked into our hotel and finally relaxed in the most comfortable non sexy pajamas on the planet!!!

The next morning, we got up early and went over to get some breakfast before we took a nice little walk on the beach.  Too bad it wasnt warmer. :(  We got in, met up with our instructor and sat through a briefing about the dos and donts of the dive and then, as we were in the second group, we walked around the aquarium to have some fun before it was our turn. 

After some lunch and aquarium gazing we went in to put on our wet suits and get ready to go.  We learned all the things we should be able to do and then we were ready to go.  It was such a wonderful experience and it was even better to do it together.  One thing we can check off of our 2011 check list (which I think was the best idea ever and we might have one every year).  Anyway... here is the video, and if you want to scuba go here http://www.scubainkorea.com/ and have fun.  Then go get certified like we plan on doing because you will be hooked like we are!!

Love

Christmas in cheongju

In my entire life, I have only spent 2 Christmases away from one; my first year in phoenix, and this present Christmas.  I can honestly say that it was a beautiful one.  This has been a rough month for me in general.  Lets of thoughts about lots of things and being away from home have made this a very uncomfortable time for me, but this week made everything wonderful.  Rob and I spent our first Christmas together exactly how I imagined a perfect Christmas would be.  Love, laughs, food, drinks, presents, smiles, drama, and lots of kisses.  My Korean family came over for a huge (and fattening) dinner in the conference room of Global Ville and we had a wonderful time.  ANDDDDDD I got a Nook from the love of my life.  What a great weekend I had.  Now I sit in bed playing with my new toys and hugging my Yoshi that rob got me as a stocking stuffer. SEE OUR CHRISTMAS HERE!

I've made a lot of changes in 2010 and its time to make even more in 2011.  I thank God that I am still growing into a better and more humble woman everyday and that I have such a wonderful man that continues to help me grow.  I think its important to take a minute to sincerely be thankful for the good AND bad things that you have in your life.  Not for the sake of others, or because a holiday told you to, but to really appreciate all the little things.  A kiss on the forehead, a whispered I love you, a teenage brother telling you you are the best sister in the world (and you know teens hate everything), a kissed hand, a heartfelt letter, knowing your family loves you, and the happiness that comes from the thoughts of your future with the one you love.  Merry Christmas!

Things to know about Korea--- BEDS SUCK

So I have been thinking about this for some time and its time to talk about it.  As always, I must remind you that this is a Diva's Guide, so my opinions might be a little biased.  Here in Korea, one of he first things I noticed (literally because I got here at night) was that the bed was hard as shit.  This has been the case in almost every place I've slept.  Whenever I think of this I am reminded of the princess and the pea.  I have always been  particular about where I sleep and how I sleep, but this is no exaggeration.  The beds are hard as stale shit. Not to mention my boss does everything backwards and takes no responsibility for her dumbass actions so I was definitely pissed last night.  That stress along with the bed defintiely kept me up all night.  I wanted to slap the damn taste out of her mouth scream at the top of my lungs.

On top of not sleeping last night, I tossed and turned around that hard ass bed for about 5 hours and just could not get comfortable.  About a month after I arrived in Korea, I purchased one of the mats they use to sleep on the floor, and I put in on my mattress.  Thats how bad it was.  Now, I'm guessing with all the heavy weight of both me and Robert, this mat needs replacing (or turning, this thought just occured to me lol).  So I am going to try that when I get home.  My whole body is in pain right now.  Maybe this is insignificant to some people, but in my world, one of the most important purchases a person makes is a bed.  You could have shitty furniture all day long, but when you rest your head a night, THAT needs to be taken care of.  Right now I dont feel like my Diva-esque needs are being taken care of.  So today I am going to Dreamplus downtown to check out the Sauna/gym/spa and then hopefully a massage.  I am hoping to come home feeling refreshed and worked so that I just pass out when I get to that hard ass bed.  And since I havent spoken to that dumbass my boss today (not even hello) I should be stress free and relaxed.  All she has to do is steer clear for another hours.

Will blog about Dreamplus when I return.  Wish me sleeping luck

My job at Cheongju English Center--- United Nations

 This session at CJEC I am all about the United Nations.  I start class by discussing all the different situations in which the UN can be helpful.  Droughts, floods, hurricanes, and war are all included in this discussion.  After we talk about that, I move into some key aspects of presenting a speech; posture, eye-contact, volume, ect.  This is all just working up to the big deal of the class-The Speech!

After we talk about some of the major countries involved in the UN they are given country cards with information and a speech outline.  They proceed to fill in that speech outline with the information and then comes the hard part.  The students have to memorize their speeches!!! How awesome/awful is that?  I walk around and help them with pronunciation and they get to ask me questions (basically trying to explain to me that they can't do it).  I just give them that O so needed comfort and at the end of the day they do a pretty good job.  They stand up at the podium and give a shaky performance but they seem satisfied with themselves afterward.  Can you imagine giving a speech in a foreign language?  I couldn't do it in Korean, and I make sure I explain to them how proud they should be of themselves.  Today was my last day in the UN.  Next week we have a "planning week" so we wont have any kids!!!  WHOOOOO.  Next up: Clinic.

Speech practice

Joking around

Helping them memorize their speech

And occasionally come nose picking

Thing to bring to Korea...Medicine

So starts the list of things you should bring to Korea.  I am officially experiencing my first cold in I don't know how many years.  As I return from the bathroom after coughing my lungs out, my boss says, "Oh you look so healthy but your system is not hahaha".  That is code for "we didn't hire you to get sick".  Usually I come down with allergies followed by a serious sinus/nasal drip, but in South Korea, I am coughing... I don't like to cough, and I don't gross snottyness either (Diva's view of South Korea remember).   A few of my other friends happen to be sick right now, and boy o boy you should see the shit they are being given here; pellets of some kind of medicine, drug seeds, ect, so once again, I find myself extremely lucky to have access to the military base.  Thankfully I am sitting pretty and enjoying the effects of NyQuil, Ibuprofen, and some other powerful meds.  

My bedside tissue bag and cup of tea

Point: Before you come to South Korea, make sure you stock up on all those meds you think you will need.

• NyQuil
• Allergy meds
• PMS meds
• Cough medicine, ect

Trust me, when you are sick and lying in a bed surrounded by your own mucus, you will be glad you did!

Dancing in Shinae (Downtown)

So Rob and I were out for a bit of shopping and while we were walking around Downtown Cheongju we ran into this show!!!  We were like WHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAA!  Enjoy!

This weeks job at Cheongju English Center--HOCKEY

 Last session at cheongju English Center, I taught Hockey.  It was sooooooooo much fun (as is evident from the pictures) especially since I didnt have a homeroom.  The first 15 minutes was spent talking about hockey (the extent of my knowledge was in the power point!) and learning the rules.  We then proceeded to practice our swings.  One of the biggest issues with Hockey is "High Stick" where people lift their stick up in the air way too high and run the risk of busting someones mouth (see my demonstration on the left)!  No fun.  After we ran through all of those things, it was game time!  I had a blast.  Im sure this will be my most exciting job while I'm here.  Sadly, most of the time in class was spent playing hockey so I have very little to report in this blog but you get the point.  Next session is UN... more to come on that!  Don't you wish you were me!

I love them!

Me hitting him because he was high sticking lol...Shaina whips ass in ANY country!

Busted!

Team Spirit

I stay in the game!

All day!

Halloween and Everland Amusement Park

I had the BEST week ever starting with last Friday.  I went to dinner with Chanel and her friend before going to the Halloween party.  It almost started kind of rocky because Robert missed the first bus so he had to go to Dejeon before making it here which ended up working out ok anyway.  Once he arrived I made sure he had some good Eats (chicken from Kyo chon...yum) and we pregamed a little before heading to the Halloween party that I talked Ciara into coming to!  Photos below.

It was so much fun.  We ended up being so drunk that we barely remembered how we got home.  THAT NEVER HAPPENS.  So basically it was awesome.  We finally went to bed around 330 so that we could get up and go to EVERLAND bright and early at 730 on saturday. 

We taxi-ed down to the bus where Chanel was waiting for us (and only Chanel).  It seemed that everyone else who was supposed to join us canceled so it was just the three of us which was totally cool because like I told Chanel, we are NOT the lovey dovey couple. The entire trip took about 2 hours and we stayed awake and clowned the whole time, included when Rob and Chanel started photoboming this little Korean couple who took a million pictures of themselves.  Something interesting to know about Korea is that EVERY couple is so in love... for like 2 months, then when its over they never speak again lol... Not generalizing, just something I picked up.

We get there and the first thing we do is gun it to the T-express, the biggest roller coaster drop in the whole world.  Its clear that I do NOT want to take part in this roller coaster adventure from my face in the "before" shot but I did and it was awesome.  We waited in line clowning for about 30 minutes which was exceedingly short for this ride in particular.  EVERYONE wants to ride this one and I could see why.  That drop was ASSinine (yes I know that is spelled wrong).  After this ride we grabbed some horrible fair food (I was hoping for a turkey leg and a funnel cake but this is Korea remember) and then we ended up finding our way to the the ZOO!!! Yes ladies and Gentleman there were animals at the Amusement park and that was all I could ask for.  I was in heaven.  The monkeys, the birds, the "Wild Babies" it was just beautiful.  Then there was a seal show...need I say more!  Fabulous.  Anyway, we concluded out trip taking pictures and riding a few more rides.  It was SOOOO much fun.  I had the best time ever. 

He was so serene!