Maybe It's Me...

Being new to England, I try to get out as much as I can and being that I don't know anything about the area and I suck at driving, I tend to have to go out with other people.  I am usually such a people person- I can generally get along with anyone.  But on these last few outings I have completely hated the people I went out with, but then I wonder ..."is it me".  

Last weekend I went out with a bunch of children.  They were between 20 and 23 but when you are in the military with no responsibilities, that really subtracts about 2 or 3 years from your maturity age.  Which makes it even worse because while I don't know a specific "maturity age" for myself, I ALWAYS handle my business and I plan everything to the last detail.  Even with the information that the birthday girl herself was only turning 21 I had faith that the alcohol would put the ages a little closer together- How wrong I was.  These people got drunk off their asses, disappeared, we couldn't find the hotel, my boyfriends friend Brian (birthday girls boyfriend and Robs co-worker) ended up ditching as all because the chick thought he was flirting with us and started slapping him around right before she threw up in the limo.  

Can we say RUINED WEEKEND??  Then we had to find our way back to Cambridge.  None of these assholes could even find a ride for us and once we got back to the base, no one was volunteering to take me home "take a taxi"- FUCK YOU ALL.  So I had to call someone...the chick who has only been here for a month was able to get someone to pick us up but they couldn't, how about that shit.  Throughout this whole ordeal I had to play the mommy role, come up with suggestions, make decisions, and get shit done, as always.  By the end of the weekend everyone had gotten a thorough Shaina curse out to take home with them.  

 

Fast forward to yesterday.  Robs other friend, Freddy, invited me to go out with him and his friend to the mall for some shopping and some Movie watching.  Now I actually  like this dude; he is reliable and seriously full of energy...SERIOUSLY, so I was excited to go out with them.  The day finally arrives and I meet the friend.  she comes in the house and I say my usually happy-go-lucky  "HELLO" and she says nothing- First sign that I wasn't going to like her.  When you walk into a house and you are meeting someone for the first time you should acknowledge them personally when they say hello.  Then 3 minutes later Freddy actually remembers to introduce us and she gives a weak "Hi", so I just nod.  At this point I was still going to try to give her a second chance.  I told myself that I was being too judgemental and I should chill out.  We get in the car and I immediately take the front seat, I wasn't going to but hey, fuck her- establish dominance.  I try to have a conversation or two with her but all she can talk about is her 7 year sex hiatus (she should have killed herself) her stalker ex husband, and how he wont give her custody of her daughter.  

Now I am NOT a monster and that is a sucky situation, but EVERYONE is dealing with shit.  I wasn't going out so I could listen to someone complain and sit there and stare at pictures on their phone all damn day.  Again, I'm not evil, but I also have very little contact with the outside world from my little house in the country and when I do meet people and go out, I want to have FUN.  I want to talk shit about people, laugh, and look fly (I did look fly though).  

I miss my girls.  I haven't had true ride or die girl friends since phoenix (a few in Korea but not really long enough to get to the ride or die point) and since I can't bring my Skype to the bar, maybe I should give up.  Back the the original point, maybe it's me.  I was actually wondering this for a minute.  Am I just too judgemental and hard on the people that I've been meeting?  The answer is HELL NO.  The weekend from hell with all the drunk young people, yea the deserve to be hated.  The chick who did absolutely nothing but complain the whole day and the only time she smiled is when she was laughing at something that she didn't tell us about, yea she deserves to be disliked as well.  So no, it's not me, it's all these other people who SUCK ASS.  

I just want some normal girl friends who are like minded.  Some women who went to college and have aspirations and goals, want to travel, want to keep their bodies healthy and happy, and can sit over a glass of wine and have intelligent conversation that doesn't include or revolve around man bashing.  There has either been drama or complaining on both weekends and I am not up for it.  I need to be uplifted and not have my emotions dragged down because I feel sorry for someone.  

Anyway, I have run my mouth enough.  Sadly, I don't see this changing any time soon so I better just get used to it.  I can just stick it out in the house until Rob comes back and then we can go off and meet new people together.  But at the end of the day, I miss home.  

"'Ello Poppet"-- ENGLAND!

'Ello Harry Potter!!!! (Don't judge my British accent- or lack thereof)  After a year of experiences -both good and bad- that I will never forget, it was finally time to head out of the country that had been my home for a year.  I was overwhelmed with emotion as that last week rolled around.  I spent it having a wonderful time with my friends and the people who I'd come to think of as family.  We went out every day that week for food and fun as the time wound down.  The best night was Thursday when we had Fry Pan, drinks at buzz, and dancing at the club before getting 4 hours of sleep and going to work feeling a little woozy!  Yes I will miss Korea, and even more so, the friends I made while I was there.  

BUT NOW I AM IN THE LAND OF THE QUEEN!!!  Let's talk about my trip.

After Chicken and pizza- the customary "goodbye meal" for teachers at CJEC- I said a heartfelt and teary eyed goodbye to my CJEC family and walked away while my boss probably mentally clicked her heels (INSERT MIDDLE FINGER HERE).

 I went back to globalville and packed the rest of my stuff, checked out and waited for the taxi for taking the bus to Incheon Airport.  After the 3 hour bus trip, I arrive at the Queen Hotel and proceed to order my last Korean Dominoes pizza lol.  I washed my hair and made my last phone calls before trying to stifle my excitement long enough to sleep.  Finally, ZZZZZ ..... RING RING 6am wake up call.  Between 6 and 7 I repack, clean the room, chat with rob so we can share our excitement, and run downstairs at 6:58 to get on the 7 am shuttle to the airport.

Enter Issue Number 1- Luggage size
As you know, I had one big a** suitcase and a carry on which carried everything I own.  Unimaginable right?  Well I did it.  When I put my luggage on the scale it said 28.3 kg and the limit is 20 with a 5 kg grace.  #FAIL.  So there, right in the middle of the airport, I have to open my suitcase and take out a EVEN MORE of my stuff.  My quite expensive body oil, my black soap, my shea butter, my jeans and worst of all, a great deal of my makeup.  #Tears #EFFYOUCHINAEASTERN.  But finally my suitcases were ready to go.  Issue one- SOLVED

So I board plane number one with a happy smile hoping that everything else goes as planned.  NOPE

Enter Issue Number 2 (and by far the worst)- China Sucks
So I arrive in China and make way way through immigration and yet ANOTHER security check (really stupid if you ask me) before having JUST enough time to get on the the next plane.  I board and think all is well.  Little did I know that the BS had just begun.  Come to find out, air traffic control has prohibited flights because of the weather.  We sat on that plane in the same damn spot for not 2, 3 or even 4 hours... BUT 5 DAMN HOURS and I had no way of reaching Rob to tell him.  I tried to talk to the flight attendants about getting in touch with him in some way since I had no cell phone.  They just brushed me off.  The didnt give a damn about my black ass.

Thinks--- *So these people think Ima have my man waiting at the air port for 5 hours huh... ok ... i see what I gotta do*

 I was the picture of irritation and everyone was going to know.  I proceed to hit the call button about 6 or 7 times to try to get these people to understand the detriment of which they were about to bring upon themselves.  Each time they came, and each time they gave me some bullshit response- none of which kept my man from waiting 5 hours at the airport.  Enter ANGRY BLACK WOMAN.

"So you people think you just gon ignore what the hell Im saying?  You wont let me off this damn plane.  You wont let me get in contact with my boyfriend.  You just aint got no damn solutions huh?  Whats your damn Purpose?  Fuck China.  Fuck this airplane. and Fuck---"

Before I could tell them to each fuck their very own selves, a phone was produced for my usage.  Damn right.  I called Robert and all was well...except that I still have a 13 hours flight after 5 hours sitting on a plane.  #Killme.

DING "Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to England.  Local time 10:40 pm"  Finally.  Only one more thing to do before I can exhale and kiss the love of my life.

Enter Issue Number 3- Immigration
I had a one way ticket to England and was worried that they would send my happy ass right back where I came from.  That they would somehow know my true plan and in the Santa Voice from A CHRISTMAS STORY yell "HO HO HO" and shove me away.  I walked to the counter with my heart pounding and when he ask the purpose of my visit I merely said "To visit my boyfriend" and I kept the detailed story for if he had follow up questions.  But he didnt.  *STAMP STAMP*.  I was was through!  YAY!!!

Picked up my bags, and walked out and 10 minutes later I was in my honeys arms and on my way to my new casa.  ME LIKEY...Actually me LOVEY!  I'm finally here and relaxing and all is well with the world.  I guess I can finally....


*Exhales*

Pictures coming soon!

Stomach Bile and Potato Chips

Well hello my darlings!  I know I have been kind of AWOL but not to worry, that is all about to change.  My fingers have yearned for you.  And the title will make sense later.

Well, this past weekend was interesting to say the least and it resulted in me gaining 6 lbs!!  Impossible you say?  Well not so much with Mrs. Fatty McButterpants over here.

Friday was the going away party for Ciara, Christian, and I and it was at a Buffet.  A huge Buffet.  I wish I could say that's where most of the damage occurred, but unfortunately it was not.  While I definitely showed my ass in there, it was only the tippy top of the crack.  The real problems came later; with the alcohol.

In my quest to be more social and stop concentrating so much on losing weight, I decided to give a huge middle finger to all things healthy.  Not only did I act a fool at the buffet, but then I continued to define the word by getting butt booty drunk at Buzz.  It was NOT a game.  And about 30 minutes before I could get myself back to my apartment I was praying to the toilet Gods and coming face to liquid with stomach bile.  Real sexy Shay.

I love this Bob Marley shirt!

Ridiculous buffet-ness

Don't ask

Drunk

Drunker

Drunnker...

Drunkkkerrr

Phillip fits right in at Cheongju English Center

Epic Ted and I at Buzz

As you can imagine by looking at the pictures, Saturday was truck loads of fun (insert sarcastic face here).  I awoke to the memory of calling Rob and professing my undying love for him; Lord have mercy on my drunken soul.  And since I am hard core, I didn't even take it back when he brought it up! THUG LIFE!!  

Saturday was full of carbs as I went and had the most fabulous pasta bread bowl at Noriter which is in Shinnae. 

Hey you see that salad on the side???!! Heck yea

As if that wasn't enough, I then went to see Pirates 4 and had a wonderful bowl of popcorn and apple pies from Burger King.  Then I went home to try to sleep off some more of the hang over which didn't work.  Later, I went to Pearl Jam and had dinner and tried to wait for Jess's going away party to start, but I could not sit there for an hour.  The longer I sat there, the more sickly I felt after the monstrous philly cheese steak and fries.  FML.  So I went home and watched a movie and fell asleep at 11:30 :(

Sunday was a movie day for us Globalvillers, so after I had a nice huge bowl of sugary cereal I went and bought 3 different kinds of chips to mix with poporn for the movie marathon.  Thats right ...THREE.  And washed it all down with 4 slices of pizza.  

O

M

G

Needless to say, I am back on the right track but I now have to get off the counterproductive lbs.  But...its was a helluva weekend...

Things to know about Korea: SEX

So Yesterday I was basically keeled over in pain because of my massive monthly pains.  TMI?? Well get the hell off my blog then!  (Can you tell I still have it?) I could barely finish my classes because I was dead by the afternoon and my Co-teacher (the teacher who is kind of in charge of you)had to drive me home because I couldnt walk.  As I am sitting at my desk just now she starts asking me if I am ok and I explain to her that the 2nd day is always the worst for me and she says

"Don't worry, when you get married it will be better"

Me- "I don't understand"

Her- "Well you know when you are not a virgin anymore after you marry your period will get better"

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (pump your car breaks please)


STOP TRAFFIC

ME THINKING- "you got to be fucking kidding me right... I gets it in boo boo" (ghetto girl style)


WHAT I SAY INSTEAD- "Oooo yeaaa right, ok I see, I hope so hehehe"

Hmmmm can you say awkward?

Which brings me to my point:  PREMARITAL SEX in Korea is definitely not something you want to talk about with your co-teachers or bosses.  

I bet you are thinking "Why would I have to talk about sex with them anyway"?  Let me answer that question by providing another short real life scenario.

I was interested in looking into birth control a while back but being that I dont speak Korean it would make an informed doctors visit quite the difficult task.  I asked my boss if my friend Mindy (young korean teacher who is much more westernized and is actually my FRIEND) could be the person to take me to the ...ahem... lady doctor.  And she said NO IT MUST BE YOUR CO-TEACHER.  I explained to her that I did not feel comfortable talking to my co-teacher about lady things but she wasn't trying to hear it.  1. Because Mindy and I are friends and 2. Because if Mindy goes she can't get the scoop on everything I had to talk to the doctor about.  Nosey is the rule rather than the exception when it comes to the Korean Way.  

So I am supposed to go talk about Birth Control so I can have free and happy babyless sex with my honey pie with a woman who thinks I am a virgin and who will no doubt relay the message to the rest of the office?  Not a chance in hell.  On the other side of that, she is one of the sweetest women ever, and I'd rather not have her know all the business of my VagCookie.

POINT:  If you are coming to Korea, make sure you know what kind of birth control and things you need and remember that its definitely old fashioned here so if you aren't married they probably think you are a virgin!

I am so glad none of the other western teachers were in the office when this happened because I could just imagine the snickers I would have heard.

Barbie and Disney f***ed Us Up

So after my last post (my bad ya'll) I have been considering some things about body image and the way we look at ourselves.  Looking back, Disney and Barbie sold us images of ridiculously skinny, busty, no waist, long hair having Princesses and dolls starting from BIRTH.  I remember how obsessed I was with playing Barbie and how much I loved to make Barbie and Ken do it (I know... fast as hell).  I wanted Barbie hair as well.  And Disney??? Don't even get me started on them.  Disney creates the most distorted views of love in the minds of little girls everywhere.  Pushing the idea that "Some day my prince will come"... MY ASS.  Disney forgot to mention that he was going to be a cheater, quite possibly no education and be wearing gold fronts.  They also forgot to tell us that when we go to college we would decrease the number of suitable men that were available to us...or anything about college at all!!  What?? No Princess Harvard?  Not to mention, on the rare occasion that we do find a Prince, Disney didnt tell us that he would suck in certain areas and we would have to compromise in more areas than we would like to.  There was no "How to" book that told us that Prince Charming could also be Prince Asshole, Emperor Inconsiderate, or King Romanceless.  NOPE!!  Didn't tell me THAT part.   Yea I have so many bones to pick with them for that I need a whole damn skeleton.

I found this picture on line that I thought was excellent.  This is the difference that Barbie's body took on in the early 2000's.  Notice the smaller waist and the bikini looking ass.  And how many girls actually look like that. Hmmm I can answer that question... NONE !

Exhibit A- REAL life- size Barbie.This young lady had an eating disorder and decided it was time to take another look at some things... like Barbie.  Using the dimensions of an actual doll, she scaled them up to the proportions of a real person and this is what she came up with.  Taking the actual scaled dimensions (mathematically) into consideration,:

"If Barbie were an actual women, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe".  Get the F*** out of here !!!

She looks dumb as hell! Hahahahahahahahah!  This really cracks me up!  

Ok, now for the point we all know and love... Let's bring it on home Shay...

The view of beauty has been and continues to be distorted by all of the people in power to do so. 

But...  Let's be honest.  Only fat people really complain about it. HAHAHA!!  Ok, ok, ok... fat people and people that love fat people.  While I do not consider myself a fat girl anymore, I definitely don't consider myself skinny either.  The truth of the matter is, the media DOES control the perception of the majority of the world.  Like it or not.  You either fit the mold or you don't.  And I myself know that I have fallen victim to the majority if for no other reason than the fact that I didn't lose weight to be healthy, I did it to be fly.  Judge me if you choose.  Health was the last thing on my mind.  I was always healthy.  

So do I have self image issues because of the world we live in?? Sure as hell do.  But so does everyone else.  There are some skinny bitches walking around wishing they could gain a few pounds.  My neighbor wants bigger boobs.  My best friend wants a bigger ass.  My white friend wants a smaller ass.  We are all products of our environment and I'm sorry but "thin is in".  I applaud everyone who tries to show that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, I agree.  At the end of the day its all about your own personal perception.  I'm glad making this model helped this young lady get over her eating disorder.  But we don't want Barbie walking around looking like this do we.  

In case you are curious...Barbie facts for you reading pleasure (or disgust in my case)

• There are two Barbie dolls sold every second in the world.
• The target market for Barbie doll sales is young girls ages 3-12 years of age.
• A girl usually has her first Barbie by age 3, and collects a total of seven dolls during her childhood.
• Over a billion dollars worth of Barbie dolls and accessories were sold in 1993, making this doll big business and one of the top 10 toys sold.
• If Barbie were an actual women, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe.
• Barbie calls this a "full figure" and likes her weight at 110 lbs.
• At 5'9" tall and weighing 110 lbs, Barbie would have a BMI of 16.24 and fit the weight criteria for anorexia. She likely would not menstruate.
• If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.
• Slumber Party Barbie was introduced in 1965 and came with a bathroom scale permanently set at 110 lbs with a book entitled "How to Lose Weight" with directions inside stating simply "Don't eat."--- (WTF)

She Saw Me Naked

Well first things first.  This weekend was yet another spent in Seoul yet not by choice. My original plan was to stay home, pack, clean, hit the jimjilbang (Korean bath house) for a workout and tub soak, and try my hand at new recipes.  I wanted to just have a relaxing weekend inside but sadly, Jess’ cousin died and she was extremely sad so we went to Seoul to distract her.  Alas, my quiet weekend did not go as planned.  But at least I was fly. 

Now we get to the funny part

I spent most of the day in Seoul wishing that I could be at the jimjilbang exercising and then having a nice soak in the tub.  So today, I made it my business to get to the gym and work this body!  It was lovely.  150 plus sit ups, arms, 20 min intervals, 20 minute elliptical, and about 10 on the bike.  I was all hype and ready to get in the tub.  Went to my locker and got naked and right as I am prancing my naked body to the tub, I hear:

“SHAINA TEACHER”

My heart starts beating fast as hell.  Here I am assed and vagina-ed out right in front of one of my ex students.  So of course I try to play it off like I’m not uncomfortable. 

“Hello honey, how are you”

“I am fine and you”

“O I am very well.  Are you here alone” (hoping mom isn’t about to come from around the corner”

“No, Shaina Teacher, this is my sister”

“OOOO Hi” (lord have mercy lets all see naked Shaina)

Finally, I make my way to the bath and away from the prying eyes of the 11 year old girl who interestingly enough did not seem fazed at all by the naked black woman in front of her.  My bath and relaxation was wonderful and just when I was feeling like everything was ok, guess who runs passed me naked… yep my student, “GOODBYE SHAINA TEACHER”.  I would have been arrested for exposing myself to a minor if I was in the USA.  I mean, it really shows you how different the culture is.  You can see women of all ages bonding and bathing together completely comfortable and naturally in this country, when in America (which is much more sexually liberal than Korea) you wouldn’t really see such things. The Bath houses will def be in the top 10 things I will miss about Korea, but not seeing my students there!

Anyway, now that I am home and relaxing, I had time to cook some yummy dinner and clean the house.  I made chicken Alfredo (sans pasta noodles of course... CARB DEATH) with broccoli, bacon, red peppers, and cherry tomatoes.  It was luscious.   And later I am planning on dipping into my guilty pleasure bag.  But not too much chocolate before I go to sleep!!

Why??  Because obviously when I have chocolate right before bed, I get engaged to tall white bald men.  Let me explain.  Last night I had a dream that Rob and I were going to get engaged.  I just KNEW it was coming.  I felt it.  Then he bought me a small toy car for Christmas and told me not to look in it (yea right).  I looked in and saw the ring.  I WAS SO EXCITED.  Two days later when the man asked me to marry him it was NOT Robert, it was some white guy named Robert.  Now I can honestly say that my unconscious mind was pissed off (I felt uncomfortable), but dream Shaina was happy as pie, just like if it was Rob.  WTF.  Big beautiful ring too with a blue diamond.  What the hell.

So yea, no mas chocolate antes de dormir porque tengo pesadillas sobre hombres blanco.  So all in all the weekend was kind of a decent.  Next weekend, no one will talk me out of staying in Cheongju and relaxing!   

A Weekend of Vagina

Ok so not quite a weekend, but the title is catchy isn’t it?  This weekend’s big event was the Vagina Monologues in Seoul, the whole day proved to be well beyond interesting. 

I had to catch a taxi to get to the bus station so that I could meet up with Jess before heading to Seoul.  I made sure to work out before I left and that put me in a sexy and thin feeling mood J. I put on a little something that was about 2 steps above my everyday wear and heels (Heeeeeey) which doesn’t happen too often at all in Korea. 

So I am in the back of the taxi and putting on lip gloss to finish off the look when the taxi driver starts talking to me in Korean.  As normal I just start saying NAY (yes) so that he will shut the hell up and leave me alone, but he starts laughing so I ask him WHAT??  Then he motions to his chest to show the gesture for big boobs and then points to me… W…T…F?  I was like HUH?  He laughs harder and proceeds to start asking me what kind of men I like… it went something like this:

“Japan man”

NO

“China man”

NO my boyfriend WAYGUK (American)

…continues naming countries as if I don’t have a boyfriend

“OOOOOO Italy man”

Yea you get the point and this continued for the while 7 minute taxi ride… SIR I JUST WANT TO LISTEN TO MY BOOK!!!  Not so much.

Skip forward Jess and I arriving in Seoul and embarking on the food journey which landed us at a Greek restaurant called… hmmm I don’t remember… sad story.  Anyway, I thought it was quite delicious but Jess said her Lemon chicken tasted like a TV dinner.  YIKES!  We had a full on 4-course meal; appetizers, salad and soup, wine, entre, and baklava for dessert!  YUM!  As we sat there we were discussing the vaggie mono we were going to see and the waiter comes to the table right as I exclaim “AND I LOVE VAGINA” yep, and he spoke English… Great Job Shay.  But it did give a great laugh to all parties involved including the blushing waiter. 

Rrrrrrrrlrlrlrlrl—(that’s the fast forward sound in case you didn’t recognize it in written form ahhaha) So fast forward to the actual event.  Lucky enough for us we got there early enough to get tickets and seats as the show sold out within the first 45 minutes not even leaving standing room.  As Jess and I opted for another glass of wine and waited for the show to start, I took a moment to look around the spot and I noticed races, ethnicities, and personalities of all kinds.  It was nice to be surrounded by such a variety of people as I rarely get the chance in Korea.  The show began with loud voices and vibrant spoken word pieces discussing everything from comical anecdotes about what your vagina would say if it could talk and the art of please yourself, to the brutal rape and castration torte that some women have to endure.  I felt bipolar as I was taken high and dropped low over and over again.  My favorite piece was the one that went through and described how women orgasm by their ethnicity or their religious beliefs.  It was hilarious and just when I thought that she wasn’t going to imitate black women she says “The African America orgasm—O SHIT O SHIT O FUCK”  Hmmm accurate?  I plead the 5^th.  All in all, the show was wonderful and I would recommend it to anyone in South Korea (or anywhere else in the world anyway)  All proceeds went to the house of sharing which is the organization that supports women who were taken and made to become sex slaves to Japanese soldiers during the war.  

And wouldn’t you know, I lucked up again on the taxi ride to the bus station.  Jess and I were pretty much auditorilly  (yep I make up words) raped by the taxi driver who started talking about the words for penis and vagina in Korean.  Not only that, but he started imitating the sounds that Korean make when having sex.  It was out of control.  I recorded the video and I am going to post that utter (yet hilarious) nastiness on youtube as soon as I finish editing.  He kept it going for the whole 10 minutes to the bus station.  Assaulted by 2 different taxi drivers in one day!  Only in South Korea. 

Anywho, it was a great weekend that I will definitely add into the epic pile. 

Sooooo I wonder… If your vagina could talk, what would it say??

Mine would just giggle all day J.

My apartment in Cheongju

I just realized that I dont have a video of my apartment here in South Korea.  Here we go.  For anyone thinking of moving here, Check it out...

Getting sick in Korea

This is so real... all I can say is watch and understand.  If you plan to teach in Korea, know that this is REAL!!!  Not just a joke!  Enjoy!

Shaina

Dr. Fish and Ladies Day Out

Yes those are my feet inside a huge fish bowl and before you say "what the hell", let me explain.  This past weekend Geri, Lara, Jess and I went to Osan for a day of beautification and shopping.  First stop- ESCAPE SPA.  At this Spa you have the choice of beginning your experience with Dr. Fish.  Here, you stick your feet into a big tub with your friends (everything in korea is about bonding) and watch each other squirm as the fish eat the dead skin off their feet.  As someone who is extremely ticklish, I was laughing hysterically.  It took a while to get used to these little fishies nibbling at your toeies but when it was over my feet felt like butter.  After the Dr. Fish I got a lovely pedicure and a manicure and walked out feeling like love.  Then we went to the main street for some shopping.  We were taken to the "downstairs" of the purse store where I bought a lovely coach purse.  It's a nice one to hold me over until the end of the month when I go and get my Canvas Coach (real) from the Coach store in the Seoul.  Ohhhhh I am going to write a blog with all the stuff that I want after my biggest loser challenge!  Yep there is a nice long list.  Sorry, I digress.  Anyway, after we finished some "downstairs" purse shopping we went to a Brazilian restaurant and had all you can eat meat.  OMG.  I was dead from stuffed-ation.  It was great and horrible at the same time.  After we finished, we had to walk it off and so began our mission to find the "LOVE SHOP", after all, my guy is gone now you know *wink*.  This mission proved to be unsuccessful and we were disappointed so we just hopped in a taxi to go home.  As we drive down the street we see the sweet goodness of red hearts and the words "love" and "sexy" on the door and we begin to scream "YOGI-YO YOGI-YO" (HERE HERE) to the taxi driver as we laughed uncontrollably!  Awesome.  We walked into a world of lubes and dirty toys in what looked like the underground room in a HOSTEL movie and our laughing continued.  I left with a nice new fun item and some free lube that I will never use lol!!! TMI much???  ahahaha!  The day was great, fish eating my feet, mani, pedi, purse, meat, toys, and GREAT company!

Interested in the experience?? Here is the number.  031-665-9751 they speak fluent English and accept US dollars as well as Won.

Relaxing

Ticklish Geri

Brazilian Food

MEAT!

Dear 2011

Dear 2011,

We haven't met yet, but I can assure you that when we do, it will be memorable for both of us.  I am very well acquainted with with your little brother, 2010, so I just wanted to formally introduce myself, tell you some things about my past, and let you know what I expect from our relationship.  Now that I am leaving your brother for you, I think we need to get some things clear. 

Firstly, your brother and I had a lot of good times, some of the best of my life in fact.  With your brother,

• I lost 60 pounds 
• I became a nicer person 
• I cut off all my permed hair 
• I moved to another country
• I fell in complete love with a woman named Shaina
• I learned to listen to the voice (sometimes voices) in my head
• I learned to put myself first and do what I want above all else
• I learned when to shut the hell up
• I've hiked a mountain
• I've gone scuba diving
• I let love speak louder than logic
• I've grown as a woman and as a girlfriend 
• And as was evident in 2009, 2008, ect as well... I was the shit...

As you can see, your brother will be hard to top, but I have lots of faith in your potential and I believe that you will show your brother up in many ways.  Your brother was quite the catch for me.  I wonder if you are as well endowed as he is lol. I am a girl who tends to get what I want from the likes of you, and since 2010 was soooo good, you had better be great.  Here are some things I am expecting from you

• A loss of 40 more pounds (60 really, but I wont put to much on you at once)
• Seeing at LEAST 4 more countries
• Wear my own big ass curly hair
• Size 10 baby!!!
• I want to hate fatty foods (hahahaha yea right)
• I want us to meet the parents
• I want to spend more time happy than sad (and I will be keeping count)
• I want ALL FLY EVERYTHING-- Def need to up my game... Time for more shoes, bag, and clothes!!!

As you can see, here are just a few of my requirements.  They are more like nonnegotiables.  Give them to me and maybe I will be as good to you as I was to your brother and all of those before you.  Now that we have all of that clear, I can firmly go into this relationship  with faith.  I look forward to becoming very intimate with you  and I can't wait for everything that will unfold.  See you soon.

With love,

Shaina

Christmas in cheongju

In my entire life, I have only spent 2 Christmases away from one; my first year in phoenix, and this present Christmas.  I can honestly say that it was a beautiful one.  This has been a rough month for me in general.  Lets of thoughts about lots of things and being away from home have made this a very uncomfortable time for me, but this week made everything wonderful.  Rob and I spent our first Christmas together exactly how I imagined a perfect Christmas would be.  Love, laughs, food, drinks, presents, smiles, drama, and lots of kisses.  My Korean family came over for a huge (and fattening) dinner in the conference room of Global Ville and we had a wonderful time.  ANDDDDDD I got a Nook from the love of my life.  What a great weekend I had.  Now I sit in bed playing with my new toys and hugging my Yoshi that rob got me as a stocking stuffer. SEE OUR CHRISTMAS HERE!

I've made a lot of changes in 2010 and its time to make even more in 2011.  I thank God that I am still growing into a better and more humble woman everyday and that I have such a wonderful man that continues to help me grow.  I think its important to take a minute to sincerely be thankful for the good AND bad things that you have in your life.  Not for the sake of others, or because a holiday told you to, but to really appreciate all the little things.  A kiss on the forehead, a whispered I love you, a teenage brother telling you you are the best sister in the world (and you know teens hate everything), a kissed hand, a heartfelt letter, knowing your family loves you, and the happiness that comes from the thoughts of your future with the one you love.  Merry Christmas!

Jimjilbang- My first Korean Bath House

 So, as I said in my earlier post, I went to check out the jimjilbang in Dreamplus today and boy o boy was it an experience.  I was NAKED-- just like I like to be-wait, let me back up and start from the beginning.

I arrive at the bath house not really knowing what I'm in for.  I know that there is going to be nakedness and that is pretty much as far as it goes.  When I get there I go to the buffet in the building so that I wouldnt workout out on an empty stomach and how proud was I that I went and had salad and soup.  (and for 15,00 won that was an awesome buffet!) After the buffet I meandered my way down to the fitness center, where once again, my sole means of communication were body language and grunts.  I walk in and I immediately find myself surrounded by naked Korean bodies, both old and young.  The desk lady looks at me and smiles as she realizes that she does not have an outfit that will fit this luscious body .Sheit  hands me this shirt and it is tight as hell but I a  go with it.  I figure I will check out the gym before I go and get this much needed massage.  "Checking out the gym" turned into Shaina getting her ass kicked by a Korean Trainer.   Not just any trainer either.  The guy with his damn face on the wall--the HKIC, if you will  (for those of you reading who are not black lol the original statement is HNIC- head ni**a in charge, but the acronym was changed to be more applicable!).  And when I say he kicked my ass... I mean he took his foot off, and swung it at my ass like a baseball bat, and sadly he was just getting started.  We did abs, cardio, and a serious interval circuit, and when I stopped to BREATHE he would yell 화이팅 (Hwaiting)- which is korean for FIGHTING!!! Aka- DONT BE A P***Y!  I was like damn give me a minute.  After my 10 minute speed walk on an incline (which he called cool down) I said my "good byes "and my "see you next weeks" and they watched the Great Black Hope walk down the stairs.

Me and the bullshit towel

Once I got downstairs, I went to my locked and prepared myself to get ass naked in front of all these other women.  I was in a sea of saggy nipples/asses and pubic hair lmao!! (that actually made me chuckle).  I went to get a towel from the front desk lady and --what the hell, they were the size of a pillow case.  Now what the hell am I going to with THAT.  Hence...this face-------->


Once I got the courage to actually walk away from the locker I was hiding behind, I walked into the Sauna/bath house and I can honestly say it exceeded my expectations.  I was actually taken aback and stopped at the door just too look around.  (too bad I couldn't take pictures)  There were showers, scrubbing areas, and several huge tubs.  I guess I forgot that it was actually a bathing house.  I cleaned up and went straight for that hot tub.  (NOTE: Make sure you clean yourself throughly before you enter the tub...I almost made a biiiiiiiig booboo).  It was just what I needed.  The only thing missing was my music, which I will surely have next time.  I sat there and relaxed the night away.  

Little ass outfit

I still wanted a shot at my massage but look at the tiny ass outfit that I had to squeeze into.  But- I did it, only to find that the massage person was gone for the day.  However, my spirits were high and now I feel good.  I have great faith in my sleep tonight.  Bath House-- my new favorite place.




Next day edit---sleep was good!

Things to know about Korea--- BEDS SUCK

So I have been thinking about this for some time and its time to talk about it.  As always, I must remind you that this is a Diva's Guide, so my opinions might be a little biased.  Here in Korea, one of he first things I noticed (literally because I got here at night) was that the bed was hard as shit.  This has been the case in almost every place I've slept.  Whenever I think of this I am reminded of the princess and the pea.  I have always been  particular about where I sleep and how I sleep, but this is no exaggeration.  The beds are hard as stale shit. Not to mention my boss does everything backwards and takes no responsibility for her dumbass actions so I was definitely pissed last night.  That stress along with the bed defintiely kept me up all night.  I wanted to slap the damn taste out of her mouth scream at the top of my lungs.

On top of not sleeping last night, I tossed and turned around that hard ass bed for about 5 hours and just could not get comfortable.  About a month after I arrived in Korea, I purchased one of the mats they use to sleep on the floor, and I put in on my mattress.  Thats how bad it was.  Now, I'm guessing with all the heavy weight of both me and Robert, this mat needs replacing (or turning, this thought just occured to me lol).  So I am going to try that when I get home.  My whole body is in pain right now.  Maybe this is insignificant to some people, but in my world, one of the most important purchases a person makes is a bed.  You could have shitty furniture all day long, but when you rest your head a night, THAT needs to be taken care of.  Right now I dont feel like my Diva-esque needs are being taken care of.  So today I am going to Dreamplus downtown to check out the Sauna/gym/spa and then hopefully a massage.  I am hoping to come home feeling refreshed and worked so that I just pass out when I get to that hard ass bed.  And since I havent spoken to that dumbass my boss today (not even hello) I should be stress free and relaxed.  All she has to do is steer clear for another hours.

Will blog about Dreamplus when I return.  Wish me sleeping luck

My job at Cheongju English Center--- United Nations

 This session at CJEC I am all about the United Nations.  I start class by discussing all the different situations in which the UN can be helpful.  Droughts, floods, hurricanes, and war are all included in this discussion.  After we talk about that, I move into some key aspects of presenting a speech; posture, eye-contact, volume, ect.  This is all just working up to the big deal of the class-The Speech!

After we talk about some of the major countries involved in the UN they are given country cards with information and a speech outline.  They proceed to fill in that speech outline with the information and then comes the hard part.  The students have to memorize their speeches!!! How awesome/awful is that?  I walk around and help them with pronunciation and they get to ask me questions (basically trying to explain to me that they can't do it).  I just give them that O so needed comfort and at the end of the day they do a pretty good job.  They stand up at the podium and give a shaky performance but they seem satisfied with themselves afterward.  Can you imagine giving a speech in a foreign language?  I couldn't do it in Korean, and I make sure I explain to them how proud they should be of themselves.  Today was my last day in the UN.  Next week we have a "planning week" so we wont have any kids!!!  WHOOOOO.  Next up: Clinic.

Speech practice

Joking around

Helping them memorize their speech

And occasionally come nose picking

Thing to bring to Korea...Medicine

So starts the list of things you should bring to Korea.  I am officially experiencing my first cold in I don't know how many years.  As I return from the bathroom after coughing my lungs out, my boss says, "Oh you look so healthy but your system is not hahaha".  That is code for "we didn't hire you to get sick".  Usually I come down with allergies followed by a serious sinus/nasal drip, but in South Korea, I am coughing... I don't like to cough, and I don't gross snottyness either (Diva's view of South Korea remember).   A few of my other friends happen to be sick right now, and boy o boy you should see the shit they are being given here; pellets of some kind of medicine, drug seeds, ect, so once again, I find myself extremely lucky to have access to the military base.  Thankfully I am sitting pretty and enjoying the effects of NyQuil, Ibuprofen, and some other powerful meds.  

My bedside tissue bag and cup of tea

Point: Before you come to South Korea, make sure you stock up on all those meds you think you will need.

• NyQuil
• Allergy meds
• PMS meds
• Cough medicine, ect

Trust me, when you are sick and lying in a bed surrounded by your own mucus, you will be glad you did!

Dancing in Shinae (Downtown)

So Rob and I were out for a bit of shopping and while we were walking around Downtown Cheongju we ran into this show!!!  We were like WHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAA!  Enjoy!

This weeks job at Cheongju English Center--HOCKEY

 Last session at cheongju English Center, I taught Hockey.  It was sooooooooo much fun (as is evident from the pictures) especially since I didnt have a homeroom.  The first 15 minutes was spent talking about hockey (the extent of my knowledge was in the power point!) and learning the rules.  We then proceeded to practice our swings.  One of the biggest issues with Hockey is "High Stick" where people lift their stick up in the air way too high and run the risk of busting someones mouth (see my demonstration on the left)!  No fun.  After we ran through all of those things, it was game time!  I had a blast.  Im sure this will be my most exciting job while I'm here.  Sadly, most of the time in class was spent playing hockey so I have very little to report in this blog but you get the point.  Next session is UN... more to come on that!  Don't you wish you were me!

I love them!

Me hitting him because he was high sticking lol...Shaina whips ass in ANY country!

Busted!

Team Spirit

I stay in the game!

All day!