Slow Carb diet week 2a

So I have been doing this slow carb diet for almost 3 weeks now with some pretty decent results.  However, I AM SO TIRED OF THIS BULL!  Man Veggies, Meat, Eggs, and Beans???  I don't know if I can do this.

So far about 3 pounds down in total. Right before I started I had gained back 2 but then lost a total of 5 since week 1.  I am now sitting at 207 (well I was until I had a major melt down today).  I would really like to get rid of at least 15 more lbs before I leave for England but I am not sure if I can maintain this diet.  I feel deprived and my mouth always tastes like yuck.  I cant have fruit and that is probably the most taxing to me.  I think I may continue the diet the way it is but add in fruit.  That might be the only way to hold it together.  As it stands right now, I am almost ready to quit.  If you know anything about me, you know I don't quit things, especially when it comes to weight loss. This country makes it very difficult to lose weight while trying to do a low carb diet.  No good salad places, no healthy restaurants, no good spices, no good NOTHING!  FUCK YOU WITH A POTATO STUFFED WITH RICE KOREA!

So I have 5 weeks to get rid of 10-15 lbs.  Hmmmm.  I am putting on my thinking cap and trying to figure out what to do to drop these last lbs.  A great body is made in the kitchen, so meal pans that I can handle are optimal.  I don't want more melt downs that end at "Fry Pan".  I would have been by myself crying over my chicken if Sean didn't text me that he wanted to join.  

I would like to avoid as many tear soaked chicken tenders as I can.  But if I see one more damn egg, or bean, or fucking piece of grilled chicken I am going to go on a mass killing spree starting with everyone in Dunkin Doughnuts!!!!! I just want a bowl of cereal!

Workout check in Video

People have been asking me about my routine.  Here is a video.  More detailed one to come later on tonight!

Dear Diary...WHAT THE F*&$

I just stumbled upon a realization that wasn't so realized.  My goal- 185 lbs by the time I leave Korea- is not going to get accomplished.  I have worked my ass off.  I have done (ALMOST) everything right. Yet somehow, I am still 20+ lbs away from my ultimate.  How do I feel about that??

I'm Fucking Pissed.

I pretty much work my ass off and barely eat anything I want.  I exercise twice a day on most days and restrict my calories to SHIT.  I take Vitamins, I drink like a gallon of water, and I barely drink.  What the fuck is the problem! I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW.  No matter what I do, I never feel like its enough.  No matter how long I work out or how hard I go, I always feel like I could have done better; like I should be working harder.  It is just not fair.  Fuck everyone who can eat what they want all the time and stay rail thin.  I hope your damn hearts explode at 30.  I hope all of a sudden you just com-bust and turn into a big fat doughnut.  FUCK YOU  !  DIE  !  TO HELL WITH YOU  !!!


*HUGE SIGH*
Now that an hour has passed since I wrote that, I have calmed down quite a bit.  Still pissed off, but more rational.  BREATHING.

Ok.  When I first came to Korea I was about 227 (103 kg) and now I am at 95.5 (about 209) and that fluctuate between 96.0 (on cheat days) and 94.9 (on great days).  20 pounds in 10 months... O GREAT JOB SHAINA (cue sarcasm here).  I know I should be all "O I have accomplished so much" blah blah my asshole, but somewhere deep inside of me, the perfectionist/skinny girl will not let me feel that way.

I am proud of the health changes.  As a whole, they are considerably better than they were before.  I mean, I even love working out at home, whereas before, I was paying for a gym membership I was barely using (FAIL).  So yea, I am doing great there... but these pounds have got to go  !!!  THIS IS AN EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE  !!!! GET THE HELL OUT  !

So what happens now...

Now I realize that I leave here in 2 months (almost exactly) and I still have 20 lbs to lose before I reach my goal.  As the chronic and obsessive planner, I very rarely make a goal that I do not accomplish.  CASI NUNCA   !!!!  So this is kind of killing me.  2 months.  Thats about 10 lbs a month roughly which means that a severe ass kicking has to take place.  I have to go on an even more restricted diet and spend even more time working out.  Now I research vegetable cleanses and low carbs meals even more.  Now I restrict my fat Friday meal to KINDA fat Friday.  Now I go fucking crazy because that is what I do when I can't have something I want.  I go MAD.  IM THE MAD HATTER  !

AHHHHH DIOS MIO AYUDAME!

So now I am off to relax and try to sleep.  I just talked myself out of going SUPER-OVER0THE-EDGE-SHAINA-CRAZY like I usually do, but I am def going to LOCK IT UP a little more.  And people telling me to stop working so hard and stop worrying about it... GO TO HEL  L!! You have obviously never been fat before OR you are fat now and too stupid to care OR you dont love shopping and looking cute as much as I do.  Either way.  Leave me alone.  Fuck off  !  Have another drink, and eat another burger.  I will probably feel like shit about this post in the morning..... fuck it

To all of my readers, please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes as I can not go back and read this or it will just piss me off.  I wrote it as I thought it.  GOOD DAY!

She Saw Me Naked

Well first things first.  This weekend was yet another spent in Seoul yet not by choice. My original plan was to stay home, pack, clean, hit the jimjilbang (Korean bath house) for a workout and tub soak, and try my hand at new recipes.  I wanted to just have a relaxing weekend inside but sadly, Jess’ cousin died and she was extremely sad so we went to Seoul to distract her.  Alas, my quiet weekend did not go as planned.  But at least I was fly. 

Now we get to the funny part

I spent most of the day in Seoul wishing that I could be at the jimjilbang exercising and then having a nice soak in the tub.  So today, I made it my business to get to the gym and work this body!  It was lovely.  150 plus sit ups, arms, 20 min intervals, 20 minute elliptical, and about 10 on the bike.  I was all hype and ready to get in the tub.  Went to my locker and got naked and right as I am prancing my naked body to the tub, I hear:

“SHAINA TEACHER”

My heart starts beating fast as hell.  Here I am assed and vagina-ed out right in front of one of my ex students.  So of course I try to play it off like I’m not uncomfortable. 

“Hello honey, how are you”

“I am fine and you”

“O I am very well.  Are you here alone” (hoping mom isn’t about to come from around the corner”

“No, Shaina Teacher, this is my sister”

“OOOO Hi” (lord have mercy lets all see naked Shaina)

Finally, I make my way to the bath and away from the prying eyes of the 11 year old girl who interestingly enough did not seem fazed at all by the naked black woman in front of her.  My bath and relaxation was wonderful and just when I was feeling like everything was ok, guess who runs passed me naked… yep my student, “GOODBYE SHAINA TEACHER”.  I would have been arrested for exposing myself to a minor if I was in the USA.  I mean, it really shows you how different the culture is.  You can see women of all ages bonding and bathing together completely comfortable and naturally in this country, when in America (which is much more sexually liberal than Korea) you wouldn’t really see such things. The Bath houses will def be in the top 10 things I will miss about Korea, but not seeing my students there!

Anyway, now that I am home and relaxing, I had time to cook some yummy dinner and clean the house.  I made chicken Alfredo (sans pasta noodles of course... CARB DEATH) with broccoli, bacon, red peppers, and cherry tomatoes.  It was luscious.   And later I am planning on dipping into my guilty pleasure bag.  But not too much chocolate before I go to sleep!!

Why??  Because obviously when I have chocolate right before bed, I get engaged to tall white bald men.  Let me explain.  Last night I had a dream that Rob and I were going to get engaged.  I just KNEW it was coming.  I felt it.  Then he bought me a small toy car for Christmas and told me not to look in it (yea right).  I looked in and saw the ring.  I WAS SO EXCITED.  Two days later when the man asked me to marry him it was NOT Robert, it was some white guy named Robert.  Now I can honestly say that my unconscious mind was pissed off (I felt uncomfortable), but dream Shaina was happy as pie, just like if it was Rob.  WTF.  Big beautiful ring too with a blue diamond.  What the hell.

So yea, no mas chocolate antes de dormir porque tengo pesadillas sobre hombres blanco.  So all in all the weekend was kind of a decent.  Next weekend, no one will talk me out of staying in Cheongju and relaxing!   

The "Work in Progress" has Progressed

I was going through some of my old emails and getting rid of spam, and I found the link to my old blog on Xanga.  I was curious to see what I was thinking about back in 2009 and the first blog I read was signed “A work in progress".  That is an understatement for what I was at the end of 2009.  I was like "a work screwed up".

They say that sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can start to crawl your way to the top and at that time, my leg had actually pushed through the bottom of the rock.  I was bitchy, fat, angry, hated my job, and just miserable over all.  I had just had a major relationship changing fight with Robert (thought it was relationship ruining but it actually worked out for the better in the long run), I was about to pay $1,300 for the TEFL course so I could move to Korea, I had a whole bunch of friends who did not have my best interest at heart, and I was basically angry all the time because anger is easier than any other emotion. 

It was at the end of this year that I decided to change everything I didn’t like about myself.  This was no easy task as it also entailed getting rid of friends, and honestly confronting the things that I disliked about myself.  I was lazy, overweight, full of complaints, jealous, bitchy, rude, and even though I had high self esteem and never doubted my beauty, I hated the way I looked. 

Step 1- Admit you have a problem.

I started writing more and really thinking about my life.  I realized that most of my new “friends” knew absolutely nothing about me and therefore could not understand my moving to another country.  Their words of warning were more like them expressing the sheer stupidity of my decision.  Not ok.  I am sure their intentions were good, but at the end of the day their method of delivery SUCKED. 

Step 2- Cut the baggage; people included.

It was like an everything must go sale.  Friends, clothing, weight, attitude, job, and doubts about my relationship; all had to be removed before I could progress into Shaina 2.0.  I Cleared my life of all the clutter that was keeping me from the desires of my heart and guess what happened… I OBTAINED ALL THE DESIRES OF MY HEART!  A new country, a better body and a better relationship.  I mean, look at the difference in the 2 pictures on the left compared to the 2 on the right.  Shame on me for walking around looking like the subway blimp.  I can judge myself but you can’t.

2 on the left are 2009 and early 2010
2 on the right are late 2011

Step 3- Get rid of the excuses and get what you want. 

Once I acknowledge the problem and removed the things standing in my way, the only thing left was to make it happen.  By “it” I mean everything I wanted.  No more workout excuses.  No more flipping on my boyfriend when my feelings are hurt instead of just talking to him.  No more obsessive eating out.  No more jealousy.  No more DRAMA (cue Mary J Blige song immediately). 

Step 4- Appreciate EVERYTHING.

And now, I am the happiest I have ever been with only more happiness on the horizon.  I am in better shape than I have been since high school and wearing a size I haven’t worn since 10^th grade and having lost 75 lbs.  I can’t remember the last time my boyfriend and I yelled at each other.  I regulate my stress issues.  I watch what I eat at all times.  I exercise at LEAST 5 times a week.  I love myself.  I smile every day.  I’ve been in another country for 10 months and I am moving to yet another with the love of my life in another 2.  I have no idea where I will be in 5 years or even 3, and for the first time in my life, I have no desire to.  

So, I guess you could say that the work in progress has definitely progressed.  I'm glad I stumbled across that old blog.  Sometimes I forget how far I've come because I'm so concentrated on the end result.  Gotta remember to enjoy the process.

Enjoy the ride Shaina, enjoy the ride.  

I KICK ASS!

I just got off of the treadmill and I feel like a G6 hahahaha! I did intervals today and they really kicked my ass because I also did legs before hand.  DEATH!

This weeks goals are

• run for 5+ minutes straight
• 30 miles in total this week
• 200 situps a day
• pack up my room for move
• no cheats (except Friday)
• find somewhere to put some yoga

I think I have a fair chance at accomplishing these things.  I am super treadmill woman.  But I def need to pick it up a notch.  Since I've joined the Daily Mile I've realized that some people out here are doing like 15 miles a day.  Kill me  !!!!! I'm worthless compared to them!  So I def gotta kick it up !!!!  Catch me if you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today--Monday (Done)-
10 minute trainer (legs)
100 sit ups
100 calf raises
Intervals on treadmill 2.8 km (30min)

Bike 6.7 (20 min)

Tuesday-

bike 30 minutes am
long distance run/walk 60 min
100 situps am
100 situps pm
10 minute trainer Arms

A New Low and a Cheat

A New Low--
Today when I got on the scale I was elated to see that I had reached a new low!!!  Today's weight was 94.9 kg which is 208 lbs.  From 284 to 208 is 76 pounds down.  HELL EFFIN YEA!!!  I have done 20 miles this week and plan to do more once my hair is done!!!  So happy to have joined "The daily mile" as well.  It helps me see what other people do, and since I always want to kick people's asses and be better than them, its a great motivation.  Join here.  It kicks ass.  I am officially out of the teens and into the single digits.  YAY ME!!!  8 more pounds to go before I hit the first goal.  I can taste it!!!  Then 15 after that!  So excited!  I can't wait to amp it up next week!  A new low indeed

Cheat--
I planned my cheat in advance this week.  No random binge cheat.  After I finished my workout, I found that I didnt want to cheat anymore.  However, I think it is imperative to get it out of your system at least once a week.  I went to Pearl Jam to get my favorite philly cheese steak and fries but they were closed.  FAIL.  So then I went to BUZZ and had a Quesadilla and fries instead.  I can honestly say that I was about 67% satisfied.  I was glad that I got it out of my system and also glad that I realized that it tasted much better in my thoughts than it did in my mouth.  Makes me see that I'm not missing much.  I'm glad I was able to schedule a cheat rather than just have an accidental binge.  Even my favorite food lost some of its flare... and that is saying A LOT! Perhaps I am becoming disenchanted with my favorite food... I HOPE SO! Good night everyone!!

Weight loss rules to live by

If you had to choose between diet and exercise, diet would have far more influence on your weight than exercise, but for a truly healthy diet you should incorporate both.  With that said, this is my biggest issue, or was.  Once I got a grip on healthier eating, I realized that there were other things that I needed to tackle, and over time, I found out a number of RULES TO LIVE BY:

Nutrition—

Some people (and I used to belong to this group) believe that if you work out regularly, you can eat whatever you want… NOT SO MUCH.  If you want to lose weight it is very important to ELIMINATE sugar from your diet.  Sugars relate to carbs.  I know how people are all like “Oooo carbs are not the enemy and you should eat them”  Blah blah bullshit.  Carbs break down into sugar and will contribute to insulin resistance, which is one of the major reasons people are unable to lose weight.  Most people don’t lose weight if they consume large amounts of carbs like rise, pasta, and potatoes.  This may sound like no fun, but this is the way I lost a lot of weight.  I gets redundant and I always wanted to cheat, but the results were uncanny.  I loaded up on chicken, fish, and veggies and I was never lacking energy.  This may not work for everyone, but its one of the things I live by.

Vitamins---

As women, it is imperative that have the proper nutrients on a daily basis.  It sucks big time that men barely have to do anything to uphold their bodies, but as soon as we start getting older sh*t starts dangling, getting hairy, and sagging.  NOT OK!  So to avoid this as much as possible, I take vitamins.  Daily, I take B12 and B6 (for metabolism and brain function), multivitamin, Biotin, and Omega 3’s. 

Working out---

Don’t believe the hype of fad’s.  I have tried like a gazillion things in the past; recent past to be exact.  If you read my last blog I talked about how I was going to go with P90x.  While it sounded great and definitely worked me, it was not the kind of exercise my body needs at this time.  Our bodies change so much as time progresses and through different stages of our weight loss journeys, and we have to accommodate for that change.  Once upon a time I could get away with just 30 minutes of cardio, and cutting down a few calories.  Nowadays, I have to go hard in the paint.  I have to bust sufficient ass on the treadmill and eat nothing I want for days on end.  P90 is great in theory, but it not the kind of cardio that I need on a daily basis.  Back to the treadmill I go.  Do what works.  And yes… include lifting. 

Sleeping and stress---

Lack of sleep increases Leptin and Ghrelin which are two hormones linked with appetite and eating behavior.  When you don’t sleep, your body decreases production of Leptin , the “full” hormone, and increases Ghrelin, the “hunger” trigger.  Not to mention, No sleep just makes you feel like sh*t.  Along the same line, stress also influences your weight loss because of the hormone Cortisol.  Aptly named the “stress hormone”, Cortisol levels spike when the body is in an elevated emotional state.  The biggest thing to know about the negative effects of prolonged stress levels is increase abdominal fat. So stop stressing about that guy who flipped you off in traffic and "WOO--SAH-ing"

Be sexy and Window shop---

Sounds dumb huh?  When it comes down to it, I feel much better when I am wearing form-fitting clothes and sexy shoes.  But taking it even further, I feel like making more healthy choices when I give myself facials, paint my nails, do my hair, wear some sexy lingerie pj’s (even when I’m by myself), put on some perfume and lie down to relax in my bed.  When I maintain “sexy” all the time, I make better choices.  And its quite hard to be fly all the time, but even underneath your baggy chill clothes, sexy underwear is good too.  I also do a lot of online window shopping.  Looking at things I want makes me watch what I do on a day to day basis.  So maintain the sexy as much as you can, and look for things to treat yourself with. 

So those are just a few of my RULE TO LIVE BY when it comes to weight loss and trying to get to my goals.  It’s not just about weight loss, but about being healthier all around. 

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR RULES TO LIVE BY WHEN IT COMES TO A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE?

Friends can make you fat

How many times have you tried to start losing weight and one friend or another begins to sabotage you?  What do I mean by sab-o-tay-gee(likes bugs bunny used to say it) you ask?  The conversation usually goes like this:

"Hey we're all going out tonight are you coming" (out being to the bar on a Monday...so not me)

"Nah I'm going to go home and cook after I work out"

"OMG are you serious...come on, have some fun"

Or some bullshit variation of the same conversation.  Ultimately, trying to talk you into doing something that is MORE fun than the workout you have to do, and MORE delicious than the healthy choice meal that is going in your microwave.  As if I don't already want to be doing ANYTHING else other than working out. In a moment of weakness, this kind of peer pressure can really derail you from your goals, and lead to the dreaded "guilt trip" that comes from "cheating" on your diet. And doesn't it suck that they are usually skinny as hell??  Feels like they like this:

And secretly they do lol!

Since Ive been in Korea, I have been derailed in this way too many times.  Not to place all of the blame on others, because I enjoyed the nights out along with the food and drinks that accompanied them, but I have had to learn to say "NO".  This may sound easy, but when your friends are going out for what will most likely be an epic evening (as they usually are in Korea), the last thing you want to do is say no, but in the weak stages it is imperative to do so. 

If you're like me, this isn't a diet, it's a complete lifestyle change.  There is no END.  Sure, there are plenty of goals, but I will probably battle with my weight until I die.  I'm sure it will get easier as time goes by, but as it stands right now, it is still a constant struggle that very few of my friends actually understand.  Most of my friends are men, and most of the rest are naturally skinny people, leaving the few who are over weight, and even fewer still who are actually doing something about it.  And then there is me: the woman who continually obsesses with my healthy routine.

Thankfully, I have a great support system online with some of my friends who I check in with and who check in with me.  Not to mention that Rob is always motivating me, holding me accountable, and lifting me up when I hit depression/guilt mode, yet never making me feel that who I am right now isn't good enough.  However, sometimes I wish I had a BF here in Korea who understood and was as dedicated as I am.  And a BF who was only MINE because I don't like to share BF's lol.  But until then, here are some strategies that I came up with to help with my motivation:

1. Learn to say "NO"--- your friends will still be there if you tell them "No, not tonight" and reschedule for a day when you don't have a workout planned, or for a healthier choice.  SANS the damn bar!  And besides, its ultimately YOU who will be unhappy at the end of the night.
2. Watch for accidental haters--- While I am not a fan of the word "haters", they are very real, and sometimes not on purpose.   People, especially woman, sometimes have some jealousy issues which can show themselves when you start doing better than them.  They may not like to see how shitty their own health is, or even more likely, they don't want you to look better than them.  Petty...maybe, but definitely holds some truth.  While I am dropping, most of my friends are adding the pounds on like fat is in style.  Like Rob says, "They all eating and we STARVING OUT HERE...WE HUNGRY!"
3. Be honest--- Tell them straight up... I can't get down with this beer and pizza shit every weekend... lets try something different. Some place with more greenery than what comes on the burger. 
4. Eat before you leave home--- Because its not fun to always stay home!  Eat a small meal before you go out and then you can just grab an appetizer!  Better safe than sorry!

 No one likes to miss out on all the fun, but remember that people with fat habits can derail you set you back.  And hopefully all of your friends don't have bad intentions and just want to hang out with you, but beware of the FAT MENTALITY!!!

EXERCISE-- This week 3/14-3/20

YEA!!!!! This is going to be a great week.  I have my eyes set on being super fit.  I have laspses now and then where I find myself hating the idea of getting up and doing anything.  They usually last for about a week, and this one is finally over!!  Back on the grind and trying to look like this body builder!!

No I'm kidding.  More like this chick...

Can I have yo numba?? 

I know what you're thinking- "Why is Shaina uploading this soft-core porn on her blog" hahaha but really and truly, this is the kind of end result body I'm looking for!  Thats a bad ass body she has going on there... massive definition in the legs, sculpted arms, and a nice flat stomach.  Sexy.  The closer I get to my mini goals, the more realistic this end result is.  Can you see my head on this body???  I can!  This outline is more for myself and anyone else, but feel free to take what you will

So this weeks plan:

Monday--Friday Meals with little to no variation

Slim fast bar

10 almonds

Slim fast bar with banana

10 almonds

 Strawberries

Apple

Salmon (orange, lemon butter, cream)and veggies

Possible additions- special k cereal with low fat milk, eggs and sausage, bananas, ect.

Monday workout- AM-10 minute trainer yoga in PM- p90x chest and back and ab ripper X

Tuesday- AM-10 minute yoga and 20 minute intervals PM p90x plyometrics

Wednesday AM- yoga PM- p90x shoulders and arms and ab ripper x

Thursday- AM- interval run PM- p90x Yoga X

Friday- Am- deep stretch yoga PM- p90x legs and back and ab ripper X

Saturday- KENPO X- p90x

Need to know how to get p90X (for the low low lol)...ask me, I will get you the info!

What are you doing this week!?  Any suggestions?

Random things to know about teaching in Korea-- PORK

Disgusted??  You should be.

I know it’s been a minute since I've talked about Korea, so I am going to try to include about 8 or 9 more blogs about the essentials before I leave the country and forget.  And one of the most important things for a healthy Diva such as me to know before venturing into the land of Kimchi, is that PORK is number 1.

Being that my parents are somewhat Rastafarian, I didn’t eat pork for about 15 years (with the occasional sneaky bacon when I went out to breakfast) but once I got to college it was a little harder to keep up that lifestyle.  However, contrary to most, my swine intake was still very small and ultimately limited to bacon and the sometimes very lean cuts they would put on the salads at food services (gotta miss Berea College).  Once I graduated from college and cooked all of my own food, I hardly ever had it at all.  Needless to say, things changed rather rapidly once I came to Korea. 

Pork is cheap and easily accessible here so it finds itself on my plate more often than any other food around.  Determined to not be “Diva-esque” when I got here, I tried my damndest to keep my mouth shut about the continuous ingestion of the bullshit swine other white meat, but that was short lived.  Every time the bosses took us out (and it’s rude to say no in Korea) pork was on the menu.  Everywhere I tried to grab something quick, a nasty pork snout was staring me in the face.  *INSERT EXTREMELY DISGUSTED DIVA FACE HERE WITH THE CAPTION “WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTY*.
So I started protesting any dinner that included pork and letting my disgust be well known.  Nicely, yet firmly, putting my stiletto down and refusing to partake.  Pre-Madonna much?  I thought so too.  So when this last dinner came around, the Diva in me acquiesced to the higher ups and went out for pork galbi.  BIG MISTAKE.

Enter FOOD POISONING stage right.  I am way to fly to be stuck on, and/or bent over the toilet.  Not my style.  And on top of that, I was sick for the next week and had to go to the hospital again and have a HORRIBLE thing done!!!!  The Diva was and is STILL kicking my butt for not sticking to my principles.

·         I will NOT be eating anything that comes from smelly disgusting pigs (except bacon when I get to England… Hypocritical?  SO WHAT!) I am putting pork right up there with mayonnaise, cottage cheese, and celery.

·         I will NOT go against my better judgment and do something that I don’t want to do to appear nice and easy going—I am nice, but I like what I like and I want what I want.  I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

At the end of the day, I like Korea overall, but I def miss the food of yesteryear.  

(FYI----Pig's bodies contain many toxins, worms and latent diseases. Although some of these infestations are harbored in other animals, modern veterinarians say that pigs are far more predisposed to these illnesses than other animals. This could be because pigs like to scavenge and will eat any kind of food, including dead insects, worms, rotting carcasses, excreta (including their own), garbage, and other pigs.) KILL ALL THE PIGGIES!!!

What foods do you hate and refuse to eat??

Feed Your...

Here are a list of Books Im reading to Feed my whatever... Enjoy!

FEED YOUR...
Business Sense:

I spent a whole year looking at this book and walking past it during my frequent trips to Barnes and Noble, after being on the NY times best sellers list for 2 years and with so many success stories I can not continue to ignore it.  Might help me acheive my fame that I so deserve lol. 

 FEED YOUR...
Imagination:

I started reading the Sowrd of Truth novels when I was in highschool and I never finished.  Not only was I excited to find the series again, but now there are 12 books!!! I am going to be sooooooo sleepless until I finish all of these 800+ page books seeing as how my Nook has been attached to me sinceI started reading them.  Starting back on book 2.  Click here for a brief synopsis.

 FEED YOUR...
Stomach:

Everyone likes to feed that.  I try to do a new recipe each week and I find that the recipes in this book are delicious, easy and healthy like the title suggests.  Very happy with it so far.

 FEED YOUR...
"What?  You didn't know that"

I don't know about you, but I love to have disucssions about things other than who did what with who on "The Game". And I love even more when I can say "I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DONT KNOW" ehhehehe.  I am all about expanding my knowledge on practically everything and I find this book particularly interesting.  Its all about some of the most noteworthy crimes up to his death.  Dumas is more well known for "The count of Monte Cristo" and "The Three Musketeers" . Awesome book to discuss! Free download here!!

 FEED YOUR...
Health:

This book is chock full of tips about how to be healthy while still enjoying food.  As you all know, western culture has grown quite disgusting when it comes to portion sizes and the way we abuse food.  I find that this book is very specific in the "What not to do" category.  Love it so far. 

Sooooooooooooo, if you were looking for new reading material, maybe you can try some of  these.  I will be updating this when I finish them all as I am knee deep in them right now!!!

What books are you reading right now??

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Last night I went out for drinks and food with the coworkers and the bosses and it was fabulous and full of fun discussions (and all that implies), however, throughout the entire dinner I am thinking to myself "Shaina stop eating meat"  and "Shaina don't drink anymore"  and "You KNOW how many calories are in Soju don't you".  And even though I was having a good time, those thoughts were nagging the back of my mind the entire evening.

Yesterday when I woke up, I was my smallest weight yet and when I looked in the mirror, I thought I could clearly see the flatness of my tummy, the muscles in my legs, and the definition in my shoulders.  I felt good.  Started my day with my slimfast bar and all was well with the world.  But after last night, I basically slept crippled with fear of what the scale would hold for me.

And wouldnt you know it, the damn thing went up...wait for it... .7 of a kg.  Small though it may seem, it did not bode well with Shay.  I wanted to chop off my arm.  And the mirror wasnt my friend.  Instead of the thinning and defined girl of yesterday, I was the ridiculously puffy girl of yester-year.  Now if thats not some psychological bullshit then I dont know what is!  I came home and exercised for 1.5 hours and had what...you guessed it... slim fast bar for dinner.

And as I avoided looking in the mirror at all costs, I realized that at the end of the day, I have to remember all the work I do, and all the sacrifices I make for my life style change.  I shouldn't avoid the mirror, or shy away from a fun night out, I should celebrate myself and my accomplishments.  I get so preoccupied with my end goal that I forget that I have already made such a difference.

All we ever really wanna do is feel good when we step in front of that magical demon and let him tell us that we are indeed "The fairest one of all" (at least in the room).  We want to feel that we are the most gorgeous in all the land (at least in the bar or club lol)!  And we step into those stilettos and those skin tight jeans, we want to know that all eyes will be on us.  And ultimately, I'm pretty sure my mirror has a crush on me and doesn't mind when I visit my old friend; food.  So I'll try to stop being so...obsessive.  Yea I think thats a good word.

My New Hobby

My little at home gym that means so much to me

It's been exactly a year since I started this weight loss thing up.  I know this for sure because on Valentines day last year I received the Tiffany Necklace from Robert and I was wearing it the weekend at a Quinceanera while eating my heart out.  I was also going through a major fall out with some "friends" and trying to move to another country.  Can you say stressed.  But through all of that I realized that I just wasn't where I wanted to be.  So I developed some new habits and over time I even found some new friends!

Running shoes, weights, jump rope, yoga mat, treadmill, and the bicycle are just a few of my newly developed relationships.  Working out has become such a monumental part of my life that my body and mind feel crappy when I skip too many.  I never thought I would be the person to say that I look forward to working out everyday, but it definitely is something that I can't live without, especially running.  For the longest, I hated running.  I felt like it was pointless (still kinda do, not going to lie) to just run for the hell of it and I didnt really understand how it was supposed to yield such great results.  After a month of consistent running I find myself getting faster, better, and stronger (cue Kanye West in the mother effer!!!!)

I love the sound of my feet hitting the treadmill, and when it gets warmer, I am going to hit some trails.  I love the way my body looks when I look at my reflection in the glass window (and I always look! haha).  My legs look strong as hell and my overall profile keeps getting smaller and smaller.  I am confident when I am on the treadmill whereas before I felt like I was flailing all over the damn place.  I really am kicking ass and I am SO PROUD OF MYSELF!  The biggest loser challenge started as a motivational way for me to get to my goal weight because that was my focus, but now, my goals are so varied.  I want to run faster, I want to be able to get through more squats before I feel the burn.  I want to kick out more and more sit ups everyday.  I want some sick muscles in my arms (Michelle Obama status out here).  Most importantly, I want to keep up this healthy lifestyle way beyond February.  I don't feel deprived, I don't feel tired, I don't feel like I'm on a "diet" because I still have what I want.  I am loving me right now.  And whenever I am feeling down on myself, or lose the motivation, because lets face it, life happens, I will come back to this and remember how I have been feeling for the past two weeks. 

And it makes me feel so good when my honey notices it and comments on how I good I look.  He has been by my side motivating me and supporting me through all of this.  I can honestly say that when it comes to being my partner through everything good and bad, he definitely took my weight struggle to heart and helped me get to where I am right now.  Even when I get down on myself and start the "I'm fat" conversation lol he cheers me up.  I hope he knows how much that all means to me.  It def feels good when other people notice as well.  Like last night one of my oldest friends (and my middle school crush lol) told me that not only am I going to be bad as hell when I get to my goal, but I'm already bad right now.  Heeeeeeeeeeeey lol.  Shout out to Corey.   And definitely Brian, who makes me feel like one of the hottest women on the planet on a daily basis!!  I am surrounded by such wonderful people.  Shaina is on it!  I feel it and everyone sees it, and it feels so good.  74 lbs down and 26 to go!!!

Swimming for Exercise

As I continue to try to find different ways to become the sexiest woman on the planet, I decided to incorporate swimming into my routine.  Now this is funny.

As you know, I have now lost over 70 lbs (I know right).  I used to be so graceful in the water, floating and swimming almost effortlessly from one end to the other happily.  The last time I swam in a pool must have been over 1.5 years ago and I could clearly tell a difference.  I have yet to swim with my new and less...ahem... "fluffy" body.  Boy o Boy, I got in the pool, started swimming and suddenly noticed that I was sinking! hahaha!  Muscle weighs a lot more that fat and I had to work super hard to get from one end of the pool to the other.  AH!  What a workout!  I am feeling good and plan to go again tomorrow with Jess!!! Whoooo  Swimming is the way to go!

Now about keeping this hair together!?

February Biggest Loser Korea Edition

If you know me at all, you know that I am quite obsessed with eating healthy, exercise and ultimately being in the best shape I can possibly be in.  It should come as no surprise that during the month that I am on vacation, I am only concentrating on just those things.  I developed a whole plan of consistent cardio exercises along with both legs, arms, and abs exercises.  I have drastically cut down my caloric intake.  Point:  I'm kicking ass and not even stopping to take names!  To hell with names.  I have a one track mind right now and its on the number 1.  that number one means several things and I love it!  READY...SET...THIN.

So the goals are:
Drop 13 lbs in February
Work out 6 days a week
Keep focus on WORK!!
KICK ASS!

So here it is and at the end of the month I will return with my kick ass progress!!

Shoe number1

Shoe number2

Special treat for my success:  My baby is buying me these shoes... I cant decide which ones are the best. God I love that he supports my needs.  He said I've been a good girl... OOO dirty dirty!  I've been good, but I'm def gonna be a BAD girl in these shoes! 

Please vote on the best shoes!!!  I need help!