Weed French Fries

Who knew?  Who the hell knew?  I KNEW...  I've been saying it.

"French Fries are like crack, man"-Shaina circa 1922

But who knew I picked the wrong illegal yet addictive substance to pin my obsession on?  A recent study found that snacks like potato chips and french fries have a marijuana like called Endocannabinoids.   Commence snickering with references to all the terms for weed - cannibus, endo, ect.

I bet you're wondering where the hell I found this picture! ha!

Sounds funny  huh?  Maybe, but to us rehabilitated Carbo addicts it makes a lot of sense.

"My name is Shaina, and I'm a Carbo-holic"~~~HI SHAINA~

"In their study, the Piomelli team discovered that when rats tasted something fatty, cells in their upper gut started producing endocannabinoids. Sugars and proteins, the researchers noted, did not have this effect.

The process starts on the tongue, where fats in food generate a signal that travels first to the brain and then through a nerve bundle called the vagus to the intestines. There, the signal stimulates the production of endocannabinoids, which initiates a surge in cell signaling that prompts the wanton intake of fatty foods, Piomelli said, probably by initiating the release of digestive chemicals linked to hunger and satiety that compel us to eat more."

Well would you look at that shit. I mean that's quite compelling as far as dietary information is concerned.  Granted, we all know that those snacky food suck, but I love to find out the science behind why a Spade is a Spade- especially when I am trying to throw my cards in (if you didn't get that metaphor...)!  The study also mentions that the need to consume fat comes from a primal part of our bodies (as animals) because its needed for proper cell functioning.  In the wild, these fat are not readily accessible, yet for us, it's as easy as picking up the phone.  THIS is what actually leads to obesity. (See original article here)

So not only do these foods taste delicious, are filing, and completely bad for you (those nasty Carbs I mean) they are also laced with crack (crack is my go to drug when I am talking junk, yes, I do know this blog is about mary jane).  Just like Krispy Kreme.  They are out to get me!  #FML

What is your "go to" carb of choice?

Mind Over Food

I don't know what I'm doing right now, but whatever it is, its working!  Two weeks ago I wrote an entry in my journal about my optimal focus- Self Control.  The plan was to focus only on what was in front of me at the moment.  Forget about the scale (but get on it everyday).  Forget about the Slow Carb Diet (but try not to have any carbs and sugar anyway).  Forget about obsessing.

Self Control.

So I stuck to the water drinking, lots of beans, breakfast, and exercise.  I went out everyday this week and hung out with friends and when I felt those o so familiar urges I would just mentally repeat "self control" and pop an image of something I wanted in my mind.  A few of my thin-spirations.

Shoes- shoe game is the most important

Eva- she is always fly

Dresses- love the skin tight dress look

And of course the 2 piece

So after popping those images in my head in some kind of weird "be skinny" montage I have actually been able to control everything I put into my mouth.  Who knew?  It also helps with the guilt.  When I make conscious decisions to eat whatever it is, I don't feel guilty after.  "I am going to eat two of these oreos and thats it".  I eat them and feel like a million bucks.  So I truly think its the mantra that has continued the decrease in poundage.  

However, it could also be the fact that I'm leaving in like 12 days and I wanna be uber fly.  Maybe a combination of both.  But I figured out some things as well. 

Last night I went to girls night at Caelyns house and we had Shrimp fried rice, fried chicken, lasagna, wine, and I baked Pizzookies (recipe to come later) with ice cream.  Lord it was great.  When I weighed myself this morning there was only a small increase.  NICEEEEEEEE.  So here is what I figured out.

• I can't get drunk- alcohol, me, and the scale do not get along at all.  So no more drunken nights.  Leaving Korea will make that much easier for me as well.
• I can't do the obsessive calories- So most of the no carb no sugar diets have a massive increase in calories from other places-especially protein.  While I can up the amount of protein in my diet, I can't eat the recommended amount because it just sits in my tummy.  No thanks.  To each her own.  
• Cheat days in moderation- Definitely don't think I need a cheat day every week and even when I do it will only be small cheats.  No outlandish eating or cheating at every meal. At least not until I can eat like a real human (goal weight)
• You are not as hungry as you think- People survive off little to nothing in some places and most of us westerners just over kill.  Gotta base my food intake on my activities for the day.

"SELF CONTROL " "REMEMBER" "WHAT THE HELL"-- things I say to myself.  Give it a shot.

Scale Junkie

I check out a number of weight loss blogs, magazines, and journals so that I can stay abreast of new information and changes that are occurring in the world.  Not to mention that I like to get my motivation from different avenues.  One of the blogs I read posted something about "stepping off the scale".  She talked about how much a woman's body can fluctuate on a day to day basis and how mentally taxing it is to see the scale go up and down.  She also discussed the fact that for most people, the number on the scale is a direct reflection of self worth, how hard you've been working, and how close you are to your goals.  At the end of the post, her point was quite clear; stop weighting yourself everyday.

Hmmmm let's discuss this shall we?

Things I already know
I thoroughly agree that weighing yourself everyday can be a serious problem for your self esteem because of the consistent state of change occurring inside a womans body. I can attest to this first hand, and even as we speak I am trying to remind myself that these 6lbs I put on are due to TOM and not reflecting a truth.  I know that the scale is a hijo de puta.  I know that muscle weighs more than fat and you can be going hard and losing fat but the scale doesn't reflect that.

I also know, for me personally, getting on that scale everyday puts me in check.  I know that the number on that little machine can determine if its going to be the cream chicken or the salad.  I have reaped the benefits of weighing myself everyday and seeing the numbers go down consistently (big motivator).  Contrarily, I became super sized because I wasn't conscious of my weight everyday and how different foods affected my body.

My final thoughts on it
While not weighing everyday sounds good in theory, the problem is, I didn't get into this weight loss and fitness thing to be healthy and make better choices; those things were picked up along the way.

Its not about healthy, its about skinny...

Sad to say, this was and is STILL my philosophy about my personal journey.  Now I know that all the weight-loss gurus and ex-fattys will go on and on about how making healthy choices and changing your lifestyle should take precedent.  Yea Yea Yea.  Tell it to someone who doesn't know the truth.  EVERYONE who starts on these massive weight-loss journeys has one thought in mind; Looking damn good (with the exception of people who are in danger because of their health).

With that said, my working out everyday and eating right could go to hell for all I care.  Whats important to me is getting to the weight and size I want.  Period.  Two pieces, belly shirts, skin tight dresses!  Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I am running and biking for hours and kicking some ass with my level of physical activity, but its all for the end result- BUILT-NESS-ITY (thats my goal, builtnessity).  SICK-BODIED-NESS.

I think this is why I am obsessed with the scale.  Trust me, I wish I wasn't.  I wish I was one of those people that were content with just KNOWING they were doing the right thing, but I'm not.  I like to see it.  I know the downfalls.  I know body fluctuations.  I know water retention.  I know PMS.  I know women's bodies suck.  Yea, I know all of that.  But I also know that I am weak when to comes to food, and MR. Sonofabitch scale keeps me from falling victim to gooey goodness or salty satisfaction.  I don't lie and try to pretend that I am not still mentally fat.  I will take a cheeseburger and fries over something relatively healthy any day!  I know staying away from that stuff is due self control and not the scale, but the two are somewhat intertwined in my world.

While everyone might not need to be a scale junkie, I do.  In a relationship you have to accept the ups and the downs.  For better or for worse right?

"Do you Shaina take this scale to be a huge part of your weight loss?  Do you accept the fact that some days he will bring you up, and some days he will bring you down?  Some days he will allow you to dip your hand in the chip bag, and some days he will tell you that only lettuce is allowed?  Sometimes he will lie.  Sometimes he will ruin your entire day.  But he is one of the best things that will happen to you.  Will you honor and obey?"


"I do"


So, What do you think?  I would love to hear opinions on this.  To weigh or not to weigh... That is my question???  

Stomach Bile and Potato Chips

Well hello my darlings!  I know I have been kind of AWOL but not to worry, that is all about to change.  My fingers have yearned for you.  And the title will make sense later.

Well, this past weekend was interesting to say the least and it resulted in me gaining 6 lbs!!  Impossible you say?  Well not so much with Mrs. Fatty McButterpants over here.

Friday was the going away party for Ciara, Christian, and I and it was at a Buffet.  A huge Buffet.  I wish I could say that's where most of the damage occurred, but unfortunately it was not.  While I definitely showed my ass in there, it was only the tippy top of the crack.  The real problems came later; with the alcohol.

In my quest to be more social and stop concentrating so much on losing weight, I decided to give a huge middle finger to all things healthy.  Not only did I act a fool at the buffet, but then I continued to define the word by getting butt booty drunk at Buzz.  It was NOT a game.  And about 30 minutes before I could get myself back to my apartment I was praying to the toilet Gods and coming face to liquid with stomach bile.  Real sexy Shay.

I love this Bob Marley shirt!

Ridiculous buffet-ness

Don't ask

Drunk

Drunker

Drunnker...

Drunkkkerrr

Phillip fits right in at Cheongju English Center

Epic Ted and I at Buzz

As you can imagine by looking at the pictures, Saturday was truck loads of fun (insert sarcastic face here).  I awoke to the memory of calling Rob and professing my undying love for him; Lord have mercy on my drunken soul.  And since I am hard core, I didn't even take it back when he brought it up! THUG LIFE!!  

Saturday was full of carbs as I went and had the most fabulous pasta bread bowl at Noriter which is in Shinnae. 

Hey you see that salad on the side???!! Heck yea

As if that wasn't enough, I then went to see Pirates 4 and had a wonderful bowl of popcorn and apple pies from Burger King.  Then I went home to try to sleep off some more of the hang over which didn't work.  Later, I went to Pearl Jam and had dinner and tried to wait for Jess's going away party to start, but I could not sit there for an hour.  The longer I sat there, the more sickly I felt after the monstrous philly cheese steak and fries.  FML.  So I went home and watched a movie and fell asleep at 11:30 :(

Sunday was a movie day for us Globalvillers, so after I had a nice huge bowl of sugary cereal I went and bought 3 different kinds of chips to mix with poporn for the movie marathon.  Thats right ...THREE.  And washed it all down with 4 slices of pizza.  

O

M

G

Needless to say, I am back on the right track but I now have to get off the counterproductive lbs.  But...its was a helluva weekend...

Waist Trimming Chili- High protein!

So for everyone who has (or will) join me in the Slow Carb (AKA "I hate life") diet,  here is a new recipe.  After the most recent breakdown about being tired of the same food and literally wanting to reach inside and yank my intestines out and jump rope with them, I decided I should try some other recipes.  Sean told me about how he likes to make chili so I began to ponder.  This recipe is low-carb diet approved and quick not to mention!  Without further adieu..


Waist Trimming Chili
What you need: (other than yours truly in your kitchen bwahaha):

• 2 cans of tomatoes with Chiles (don't drain)
• 2 cans kidney beans 
• Sausage
• Chicken
• 1 large onion
• 1 large green pepper
• Red Chile peppers to taste (I used a jar)
• 1 garlic clove

Pour cans of tomatoes into a pot and heat on medium.  Once they start to bubble, throw in both cans of kidney beans.  Simmer.


In a sauce pan, cook sausages.  I used old chicken so I didnt need to do anything other than throw it in the pan for reheating once the sausages were close to being done. Slice onion, green pepper, and garlic and toss in pan with sausages and chicken.  When veggies start to soften, empty everything into the pot with tomatoes and beans. 

While chile is simmering, crush some red peppers in.  Be careful because a little goes a long way, but I like my nose running when I finish eating.  If you do not have anything close to a Jamaican pallet then tread carefully. 

Thats it.  It was very good and I had that wonderful feeling of full but not stuffed.  One thing to remember though; DONT RUB YOUR EYE WHEN YOU ARE DONE EATING!!!  I am so dense sometimes.

Slow Carb diet week 2a

So I have been doing this slow carb diet for almost 3 weeks now with some pretty decent results.  However, I AM SO TIRED OF THIS BULL!  Man Veggies, Meat, Eggs, and Beans???  I don't know if I can do this.

So far about 3 pounds down in total. Right before I started I had gained back 2 but then lost a total of 5 since week 1.  I am now sitting at 207 (well I was until I had a major melt down today).  I would really like to get rid of at least 15 more lbs before I leave for England but I am not sure if I can maintain this diet.  I feel deprived and my mouth always tastes like yuck.  I cant have fruit and that is probably the most taxing to me.  I think I may continue the diet the way it is but add in fruit.  That might be the only way to hold it together.  As it stands right now, I am almost ready to quit.  If you know anything about me, you know I don't quit things, especially when it comes to weight loss. This country makes it very difficult to lose weight while trying to do a low carb diet.  No good salad places, no healthy restaurants, no good spices, no good NOTHING!  FUCK YOU WITH A POTATO STUFFED WITH RICE KOREA!

So I have 5 weeks to get rid of 10-15 lbs.  Hmmmm.  I am putting on my thinking cap and trying to figure out what to do to drop these last lbs.  A great body is made in the kitchen, so meal pans that I can handle are optimal.  I don't want more melt downs that end at "Fry Pan".  I would have been by myself crying over my chicken if Sean didn't text me that he wanted to join.  

I would like to avoid as many tear soaked chicken tenders as I can.  But if I see one more damn egg, or bean, or fucking piece of grilled chicken I am going to go on a mass killing spree starting with everyone in Dunkin Doughnuts!!!!! I just want a bowl of cereal!

Workout check in Video

People have been asking me about my routine.  Here is a video.  More detailed one to come later on tonight!

Barbie and Disney f***ed Us Up

So after my last post (my bad ya'll) I have been considering some things about body image and the way we look at ourselves.  Looking back, Disney and Barbie sold us images of ridiculously skinny, busty, no waist, long hair having Princesses and dolls starting from BIRTH.  I remember how obsessed I was with playing Barbie and how much I loved to make Barbie and Ken do it (I know... fast as hell).  I wanted Barbie hair as well.  And Disney??? Don't even get me started on them.  Disney creates the most distorted views of love in the minds of little girls everywhere.  Pushing the idea that "Some day my prince will come"... MY ASS.  Disney forgot to mention that he was going to be a cheater, quite possibly no education and be wearing gold fronts.  They also forgot to tell us that when we go to college we would decrease the number of suitable men that were available to us...or anything about college at all!!  What?? No Princess Harvard?  Not to mention, on the rare occasion that we do find a Prince, Disney didnt tell us that he would suck in certain areas and we would have to compromise in more areas than we would like to.  There was no "How to" book that told us that Prince Charming could also be Prince Asshole, Emperor Inconsiderate, or King Romanceless.  NOPE!!  Didn't tell me THAT part.   Yea I have so many bones to pick with them for that I need a whole damn skeleton.

I found this picture on line that I thought was excellent.  This is the difference that Barbie's body took on in the early 2000's.  Notice the smaller waist and the bikini looking ass.  And how many girls actually look like that. Hmmm I can answer that question... NONE !

Exhibit A- REAL life- size Barbie.This young lady had an eating disorder and decided it was time to take another look at some things... like Barbie.  Using the dimensions of an actual doll, she scaled them up to the proportions of a real person and this is what she came up with.  Taking the actual scaled dimensions (mathematically) into consideration,:

"If Barbie were an actual women, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe".  Get the F*** out of here !!!

She looks dumb as hell! Hahahahahahahahah!  This really cracks me up!  

Ok, now for the point we all know and love... Let's bring it on home Shay...

The view of beauty has been and continues to be distorted by all of the people in power to do so. 

But...  Let's be honest.  Only fat people really complain about it. HAHAHA!!  Ok, ok, ok... fat people and people that love fat people.  While I do not consider myself a fat girl anymore, I definitely don't consider myself skinny either.  The truth of the matter is, the media DOES control the perception of the majority of the world.  Like it or not.  You either fit the mold or you don't.  And I myself know that I have fallen victim to the majority if for no other reason than the fact that I didn't lose weight to be healthy, I did it to be fly.  Judge me if you choose.  Health was the last thing on my mind.  I was always healthy.  

So do I have self image issues because of the world we live in?? Sure as hell do.  But so does everyone else.  There are some skinny bitches walking around wishing they could gain a few pounds.  My neighbor wants bigger boobs.  My best friend wants a bigger ass.  My white friend wants a smaller ass.  We are all products of our environment and I'm sorry but "thin is in".  I applaud everyone who tries to show that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, I agree.  At the end of the day its all about your own personal perception.  I'm glad making this model helped this young lady get over her eating disorder.  But we don't want Barbie walking around looking like this do we.  

In case you are curious...Barbie facts for you reading pleasure (or disgust in my case)

• There are two Barbie dolls sold every second in the world.
• The target market for Barbie doll sales is young girls ages 3-12 years of age.
• A girl usually has her first Barbie by age 3, and collects a total of seven dolls during her childhood.
• Over a billion dollars worth of Barbie dolls and accessories were sold in 1993, making this doll big business and one of the top 10 toys sold.
• If Barbie were an actual women, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe.
• Barbie calls this a "full figure" and likes her weight at 110 lbs.
• At 5'9" tall and weighing 110 lbs, Barbie would have a BMI of 16.24 and fit the weight criteria for anorexia. She likely would not menstruate.
• If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.
• Slumber Party Barbie was introduced in 1965 and came with a bathroom scale permanently set at 110 lbs with a book entitled "How to Lose Weight" with directions inside stating simply "Don't eat."--- (WTF)

Dear Diary...WHAT THE F*&$

I just stumbled upon a realization that wasn't so realized.  My goal- 185 lbs by the time I leave Korea- is not going to get accomplished.  I have worked my ass off.  I have done (ALMOST) everything right. Yet somehow, I am still 20+ lbs away from my ultimate.  How do I feel about that??

I'm Fucking Pissed.

I pretty much work my ass off and barely eat anything I want.  I exercise twice a day on most days and restrict my calories to SHIT.  I take Vitamins, I drink like a gallon of water, and I barely drink.  What the fuck is the problem! I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW.  No matter what I do, I never feel like its enough.  No matter how long I work out or how hard I go, I always feel like I could have done better; like I should be working harder.  It is just not fair.  Fuck everyone who can eat what they want all the time and stay rail thin.  I hope your damn hearts explode at 30.  I hope all of a sudden you just com-bust and turn into a big fat doughnut.  FUCK YOU  !  DIE  !  TO HELL WITH YOU  !!!


*HUGE SIGH*
Now that an hour has passed since I wrote that, I have calmed down quite a bit.  Still pissed off, but more rational.  BREATHING.

Ok.  When I first came to Korea I was about 227 (103 kg) and now I am at 95.5 (about 209) and that fluctuate between 96.0 (on cheat days) and 94.9 (on great days).  20 pounds in 10 months... O GREAT JOB SHAINA (cue sarcasm here).  I know I should be all "O I have accomplished so much" blah blah my asshole, but somewhere deep inside of me, the perfectionist/skinny girl will not let me feel that way.

I am proud of the health changes.  As a whole, they are considerably better than they were before.  I mean, I even love working out at home, whereas before, I was paying for a gym membership I was barely using (FAIL).  So yea, I am doing great there... but these pounds have got to go  !!!  THIS IS AN EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE  !!!! GET THE HELL OUT  !

So what happens now...

Now I realize that I leave here in 2 months (almost exactly) and I still have 20 lbs to lose before I reach my goal.  As the chronic and obsessive planner, I very rarely make a goal that I do not accomplish.  CASI NUNCA   !!!!  So this is kind of killing me.  2 months.  Thats about 10 lbs a month roughly which means that a severe ass kicking has to take place.  I have to go on an even more restricted diet and spend even more time working out.  Now I research vegetable cleanses and low carbs meals even more.  Now I restrict my fat Friday meal to KINDA fat Friday.  Now I go fucking crazy because that is what I do when I can't have something I want.  I go MAD.  IM THE MAD HATTER  !

AHHHHH DIOS MIO AYUDAME!

So now I am off to relax and try to sleep.  I just talked myself out of going SUPER-OVER0THE-EDGE-SHAINA-CRAZY like I usually do, but I am def going to LOCK IT UP a little more.  And people telling me to stop working so hard and stop worrying about it... GO TO HEL  L!! You have obviously never been fat before OR you are fat now and too stupid to care OR you dont love shopping and looking cute as much as I do.  Either way.  Leave me alone.  Fuck off  !  Have another drink, and eat another burger.  I will probably feel like shit about this post in the morning..... fuck it

To all of my readers, please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes as I can not go back and read this or it will just piss me off.  I wrote it as I thought it.  GOOD DAY!

She Saw Me Naked

Well first things first.  This weekend was yet another spent in Seoul yet not by choice. My original plan was to stay home, pack, clean, hit the jimjilbang (Korean bath house) for a workout and tub soak, and try my hand at new recipes.  I wanted to just have a relaxing weekend inside but sadly, Jess’ cousin died and she was extremely sad so we went to Seoul to distract her.  Alas, my quiet weekend did not go as planned.  But at least I was fly. 

Now we get to the funny part

I spent most of the day in Seoul wishing that I could be at the jimjilbang exercising and then having a nice soak in the tub.  So today, I made it my business to get to the gym and work this body!  It was lovely.  150 plus sit ups, arms, 20 min intervals, 20 minute elliptical, and about 10 on the bike.  I was all hype and ready to get in the tub.  Went to my locker and got naked and right as I am prancing my naked body to the tub, I hear:

“SHAINA TEACHER”

My heart starts beating fast as hell.  Here I am assed and vagina-ed out right in front of one of my ex students.  So of course I try to play it off like I’m not uncomfortable. 

“Hello honey, how are you”

“I am fine and you”

“O I am very well.  Are you here alone” (hoping mom isn’t about to come from around the corner”

“No, Shaina Teacher, this is my sister”

“OOOO Hi” (lord have mercy lets all see naked Shaina)

Finally, I make my way to the bath and away from the prying eyes of the 11 year old girl who interestingly enough did not seem fazed at all by the naked black woman in front of her.  My bath and relaxation was wonderful and just when I was feeling like everything was ok, guess who runs passed me naked… yep my student, “GOODBYE SHAINA TEACHER”.  I would have been arrested for exposing myself to a minor if I was in the USA.  I mean, it really shows you how different the culture is.  You can see women of all ages bonding and bathing together completely comfortable and naturally in this country, when in America (which is much more sexually liberal than Korea) you wouldn’t really see such things. The Bath houses will def be in the top 10 things I will miss about Korea, but not seeing my students there!

Anyway, now that I am home and relaxing, I had time to cook some yummy dinner and clean the house.  I made chicken Alfredo (sans pasta noodles of course... CARB DEATH) with broccoli, bacon, red peppers, and cherry tomatoes.  It was luscious.   And later I am planning on dipping into my guilty pleasure bag.  But not too much chocolate before I go to sleep!!

Why??  Because obviously when I have chocolate right before bed, I get engaged to tall white bald men.  Let me explain.  Last night I had a dream that Rob and I were going to get engaged.  I just KNEW it was coming.  I felt it.  Then he bought me a small toy car for Christmas and told me not to look in it (yea right).  I looked in and saw the ring.  I WAS SO EXCITED.  Two days later when the man asked me to marry him it was NOT Robert, it was some white guy named Robert.  Now I can honestly say that my unconscious mind was pissed off (I felt uncomfortable), but dream Shaina was happy as pie, just like if it was Rob.  WTF.  Big beautiful ring too with a blue diamond.  What the hell.

So yea, no mas chocolate antes de dormir porque tengo pesadillas sobre hombres blanco.  So all in all the weekend was kind of a decent.  Next weekend, no one will talk me out of staying in Cheongju and relaxing!   

The "Work in Progress" has Progressed

I was going through some of my old emails and getting rid of spam, and I found the link to my old blog on Xanga.  I was curious to see what I was thinking about back in 2009 and the first blog I read was signed “A work in progress".  That is an understatement for what I was at the end of 2009.  I was like "a work screwed up".

They say that sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can start to crawl your way to the top and at that time, my leg had actually pushed through the bottom of the rock.  I was bitchy, fat, angry, hated my job, and just miserable over all.  I had just had a major relationship changing fight with Robert (thought it was relationship ruining but it actually worked out for the better in the long run), I was about to pay $1,300 for the TEFL course so I could move to Korea, I had a whole bunch of friends who did not have my best interest at heart, and I was basically angry all the time because anger is easier than any other emotion. 

It was at the end of this year that I decided to change everything I didn’t like about myself.  This was no easy task as it also entailed getting rid of friends, and honestly confronting the things that I disliked about myself.  I was lazy, overweight, full of complaints, jealous, bitchy, rude, and even though I had high self esteem and never doubted my beauty, I hated the way I looked. 

Step 1- Admit you have a problem.

I started writing more and really thinking about my life.  I realized that most of my new “friends” knew absolutely nothing about me and therefore could not understand my moving to another country.  Their words of warning were more like them expressing the sheer stupidity of my decision.  Not ok.  I am sure their intentions were good, but at the end of the day their method of delivery SUCKED. 

Step 2- Cut the baggage; people included.

It was like an everything must go sale.  Friends, clothing, weight, attitude, job, and doubts about my relationship; all had to be removed before I could progress into Shaina 2.0.  I Cleared my life of all the clutter that was keeping me from the desires of my heart and guess what happened… I OBTAINED ALL THE DESIRES OF MY HEART!  A new country, a better body and a better relationship.  I mean, look at the difference in the 2 pictures on the left compared to the 2 on the right.  Shame on me for walking around looking like the subway blimp.  I can judge myself but you can’t.

2 on the left are 2009 and early 2010
2 on the right are late 2011

Step 3- Get rid of the excuses and get what you want. 

Once I acknowledge the problem and removed the things standing in my way, the only thing left was to make it happen.  By “it” I mean everything I wanted.  No more workout excuses.  No more flipping on my boyfriend when my feelings are hurt instead of just talking to him.  No more obsessive eating out.  No more jealousy.  No more DRAMA (cue Mary J Blige song immediately). 

Step 4- Appreciate EVERYTHING.

And now, I am the happiest I have ever been with only more happiness on the horizon.  I am in better shape than I have been since high school and wearing a size I haven’t worn since 10^th grade and having lost 75 lbs.  I can’t remember the last time my boyfriend and I yelled at each other.  I regulate my stress issues.  I watch what I eat at all times.  I exercise at LEAST 5 times a week.  I love myself.  I smile every day.  I’ve been in another country for 10 months and I am moving to yet another with the love of my life in another 2.  I have no idea where I will be in 5 years or even 3, and for the first time in my life, I have no desire to.  

So, I guess you could say that the work in progress has definitely progressed.  I'm glad I stumbled across that old blog.  Sometimes I forget how far I've come because I'm so concentrated on the end result.  Gotta remember to enjoy the process.

Enjoy the ride Shaina, enjoy the ride.  

Water Jesus-- The Diet Savior

Agua...
Uisce...
De l'eau...
Wasser...
물...

No matter which language it's spoken in or where in the world you are, Water is the best thing you can put in your body, but for some reason it can be hard as hell to get in what you need.  The average person does NOT know how much water they need in their bodies on a daily basis.

The body is made up of between 55%- 75% water and is in need of constant replenishing.  If I could have my way, I would just sit under the faucet with my mouth open because I know all the benefits of drinking water constantly through out my day. 

There are so many benefits when it comes to drinking the right amount of water because it:

• Transports nutrients and oxygen into cells
• Moisturizes the air in lungs
• Helps with metabolism (and mine SUCKS)
• Protect our vital organs
• Helps our organs to absorb nutrients better
• Regulates body temperature
• Detoxifies
• Protect and moisturizes our joints
• Helps us lose weight (DING DING DING) 
• Scale not looking so good???  That's because when you drink too little water you actually RETAIN water.  Yep that's right!  If you are retaining water you will gain weight and the only way to get rid of it is to double up on your intake!!!

 I try to drink at least 3 liters of water a day and a gallon on a good day.  If you are trying to lose weight, forget about the conventional 8 glasses of water a day.  You should be drinking HALF YOUR BODY WEIGHT IN OUNCES.  Prepare yourself, I am about to drop some math on you!  So if you weight 200 lbs you should drink 100 oz of water, and a liter is 33 fl oz, which means you need at least 3 liters to break even, and 8-8 oz glasses of water is only 64 oz...NOT OK !  That "8 glasses" is the BARE MINIMUM you should drink on a day to day basis if, and only if, you are a PANSY ASS. 

Now with that said, I know that it can be hard to sit around and sip on water if you are extremely busy during the day, but there are ways to remember.  When I first began the weightloss journey I used several tricks to remind myself to drink water all day long.  Here are a few--

• I wear bracelets on one hand and every time I finish a bottle of water I move 1 bracelet to the other arm.  At the end of the day I have to have them all on the other hand!
• Drink a whole bottle or two before you leave in the morning
• Drink a bottle everytime you go to the bathroom (water sound will remind you)
• Use a pop-up reminder on your computer.
• Send yourself an e-mail reminder.
• Set a phone alarm
• Drink during every commercial break
• Fill up your 2 liter bottle and finish it before lunch then make it through another liter or 2 by the end of the night.

These are just a few of the ways I trained myself to drink water.  At this point, it has become second nature and I don't have any problems remembering.  You want a sexy body????  DRINK YOUR DAMN WATER!!!  It is THE best thing for your diet and weight loss.  It the Jesus of Health!

Even the fishies can't get enough!

I KICK ASS!

I just got off of the treadmill and I feel like a G6 hahahaha! I did intervals today and they really kicked my ass because I also did legs before hand.  DEATH!

This weeks goals are

• run for 5+ minutes straight
• 30 miles in total this week
• 200 situps a day
• pack up my room for move
• no cheats (except Friday)
• find somewhere to put some yoga

I think I have a fair chance at accomplishing these things.  I am super treadmill woman.  But I def need to pick it up a notch.  Since I've joined the Daily Mile I've realized that some people out here are doing like 15 miles a day.  Kill me  !!!!! I'm worthless compared to them!  So I def gotta kick it up !!!!  Catch me if you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today--Monday (Done)-
10 minute trainer (legs)
100 sit ups
100 calf raises
Intervals on treadmill 2.8 km (30min)

Bike 6.7 (20 min)

Tuesday-

bike 30 minutes am
long distance run/walk 60 min
100 situps am
100 situps pm
10 minute trainer Arms

A New Low and a Cheat

A New Low--
Today when I got on the scale I was elated to see that I had reached a new low!!!  Today's weight was 94.9 kg which is 208 lbs.  From 284 to 208 is 76 pounds down.  HELL EFFIN YEA!!!  I have done 20 miles this week and plan to do more once my hair is done!!!  So happy to have joined "The daily mile" as well.  It helps me see what other people do, and since I always want to kick people's asses and be better than them, its a great motivation.  Join here.  It kicks ass.  I am officially out of the teens and into the single digits.  YAY ME!!!  8 more pounds to go before I hit the first goal.  I can taste it!!!  Then 15 after that!  So excited!  I can't wait to amp it up next week!  A new low indeed

Cheat--
I planned my cheat in advance this week.  No random binge cheat.  After I finished my workout, I found that I didnt want to cheat anymore.  However, I think it is imperative to get it out of your system at least once a week.  I went to Pearl Jam to get my favorite philly cheese steak and fries but they were closed.  FAIL.  So then I went to BUZZ and had a Quesadilla and fries instead.  I can honestly say that I was about 67% satisfied.  I was glad that I got it out of my system and also glad that I realized that it tasted much better in my thoughts than it did in my mouth.  Makes me see that I'm not missing much.  I'm glad I was able to schedule a cheat rather than just have an accidental binge.  Even my favorite food lost some of its flare... and that is saying A LOT! Perhaps I am becoming disenchanted with my favorite food... I HOPE SO! Good night everyone!!

Weight loss rules to live by

If you had to choose between diet and exercise, diet would have far more influence on your weight than exercise, but for a truly healthy diet you should incorporate both.  With that said, this is my biggest issue, or was.  Once I got a grip on healthier eating, I realized that there were other things that I needed to tackle, and over time, I found out a number of RULES TO LIVE BY:

Nutrition—

Some people (and I used to belong to this group) believe that if you work out regularly, you can eat whatever you want… NOT SO MUCH.  If you want to lose weight it is very important to ELIMINATE sugar from your diet.  Sugars relate to carbs.  I know how people are all like “Oooo carbs are not the enemy and you should eat them”  Blah blah bullshit.  Carbs break down into sugar and will contribute to insulin resistance, which is one of the major reasons people are unable to lose weight.  Most people don’t lose weight if they consume large amounts of carbs like rise, pasta, and potatoes.  This may sound like no fun, but this is the way I lost a lot of weight.  I gets redundant and I always wanted to cheat, but the results were uncanny.  I loaded up on chicken, fish, and veggies and I was never lacking energy.  This may not work for everyone, but its one of the things I live by.

Vitamins---

As women, it is imperative that have the proper nutrients on a daily basis.  It sucks big time that men barely have to do anything to uphold their bodies, but as soon as we start getting older sh*t starts dangling, getting hairy, and sagging.  NOT OK!  So to avoid this as much as possible, I take vitamins.  Daily, I take B12 and B6 (for metabolism and brain function), multivitamin, Biotin, and Omega 3’s. 

Working out---

Don’t believe the hype of fad’s.  I have tried like a gazillion things in the past; recent past to be exact.  If you read my last blog I talked about how I was going to go with P90x.  While it sounded great and definitely worked me, it was not the kind of exercise my body needs at this time.  Our bodies change so much as time progresses and through different stages of our weight loss journeys, and we have to accommodate for that change.  Once upon a time I could get away with just 30 minutes of cardio, and cutting down a few calories.  Nowadays, I have to go hard in the paint.  I have to bust sufficient ass on the treadmill and eat nothing I want for days on end.  P90 is great in theory, but it not the kind of cardio that I need on a daily basis.  Back to the treadmill I go.  Do what works.  And yes… include lifting. 

Sleeping and stress---

Lack of sleep increases Leptin and Ghrelin which are two hormones linked with appetite and eating behavior.  When you don’t sleep, your body decreases production of Leptin , the “full” hormone, and increases Ghrelin, the “hunger” trigger.  Not to mention, No sleep just makes you feel like sh*t.  Along the same line, stress also influences your weight loss because of the hormone Cortisol.  Aptly named the “stress hormone”, Cortisol levels spike when the body is in an elevated emotional state.  The biggest thing to know about the negative effects of prolonged stress levels is increase abdominal fat. So stop stressing about that guy who flipped you off in traffic and "WOO--SAH-ing"

Be sexy and Window shop---

Sounds dumb huh?  When it comes down to it, I feel much better when I am wearing form-fitting clothes and sexy shoes.  But taking it even further, I feel like making more healthy choices when I give myself facials, paint my nails, do my hair, wear some sexy lingerie pj’s (even when I’m by myself), put on some perfume and lie down to relax in my bed.  When I maintain “sexy” all the time, I make better choices.  And its quite hard to be fly all the time, but even underneath your baggy chill clothes, sexy underwear is good too.  I also do a lot of online window shopping.  Looking at things I want makes me watch what I do on a day to day basis.  So maintain the sexy as much as you can, and look for things to treat yourself with. 

So those are just a few of my RULE TO LIVE BY when it comes to weight loss and trying to get to my goals.  It’s not just about weight loss, but about being healthier all around. 

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR RULES TO LIVE BY WHEN IT COMES TO A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE?