Friends can make you fat

How many times have you tried to start losing weight and one friend or another begins to sabotage you?  What do I mean by sab-o-tay-gee(likes bugs bunny used to say it) you ask?  The conversation usually goes like this:

"Hey we're all going out tonight are you coming" (out being to the bar on a Monday...so not me)

"Nah I'm going to go home and cook after I work out"

"OMG are you serious...come on, have some fun"

Or some bullshit variation of the same conversation.  Ultimately, trying to talk you into doing something that is MORE fun than the workout you have to do, and MORE delicious than the healthy choice meal that is going in your microwave.  As if I don't already want to be doing ANYTHING else other than working out. In a moment of weakness, this kind of peer pressure can really derail you from your goals, and lead to the dreaded "guilt trip" that comes from "cheating" on your diet. And doesn't it suck that they are usually skinny as hell??  Feels like they like this:

And secretly they do lol!

Since Ive been in Korea, I have been derailed in this way too many times.  Not to place all of the blame on others, because I enjoyed the nights out along with the food and drinks that accompanied them, but I have had to learn to say "NO".  This may sound easy, but when your friends are going out for what will most likely be an epic evening (as they usually are in Korea), the last thing you want to do is say no, but in the weak stages it is imperative to do so. 

If you're like me, this isn't a diet, it's a complete lifestyle change.  There is no END.  Sure, there are plenty of goals, but I will probably battle with my weight until I die.  I'm sure it will get easier as time goes by, but as it stands right now, it is still a constant struggle that very few of my friends actually understand.  Most of my friends are men, and most of the rest are naturally skinny people, leaving the few who are over weight, and even fewer still who are actually doing something about it.  And then there is me: the woman who continually obsesses with my healthy routine.

Thankfully, I have a great support system online with some of my friends who I check in with and who check in with me.  Not to mention that Rob is always motivating me, holding me accountable, and lifting me up when I hit depression/guilt mode, yet never making me feel that who I am right now isn't good enough.  However, sometimes I wish I had a BF here in Korea who understood and was as dedicated as I am.  And a BF who was only MINE because I don't like to share BF's lol.  But until then, here are some strategies that I came up with to help with my motivation:

1. Learn to say "NO"--- your friends will still be there if you tell them "No, not tonight" and reschedule for a day when you don't have a workout planned, or for a healthier choice.  SANS the damn bar!  And besides, its ultimately YOU who will be unhappy at the end of the night.
2. Watch for accidental haters--- While I am not a fan of the word "haters", they are very real, and sometimes not on purpose.   People, especially woman, sometimes have some jealousy issues which can show themselves when you start doing better than them.  They may not like to see how shitty their own health is, or even more likely, they don't want you to look better than them.  Petty...maybe, but definitely holds some truth.  While I am dropping, most of my friends are adding the pounds on like fat is in style.  Like Rob says, "They all eating and we STARVING OUT HERE...WE HUNGRY!"
3. Be honest--- Tell them straight up... I can't get down with this beer and pizza shit every weekend... lets try something different. Some place with more greenery than what comes on the burger. 
4. Eat before you leave home--- Because its not fun to always stay home!  Eat a small meal before you go out and then you can just grab an appetizer!  Better safe than sorry!

 No one likes to miss out on all the fun, but remember that people with fat habits can derail you set you back.  And hopefully all of your friends don't have bad intentions and just want to hang out with you, but beware of the FAT MENTALITY!!!

EXERCISE-- This week 3/14-3/20

YEA!!!!! This is going to be a great week.  I have my eyes set on being super fit.  I have laspses now and then where I find myself hating the idea of getting up and doing anything.  They usually last for about a week, and this one is finally over!!  Back on the grind and trying to look like this body builder!!

No I'm kidding.  More like this chick...

Can I have yo numba?? 

I know what you're thinking- "Why is Shaina uploading this soft-core porn on her blog" hahaha but really and truly, this is the kind of end result body I'm looking for!  Thats a bad ass body she has going on there... massive definition in the legs, sculpted arms, and a nice flat stomach.  Sexy.  The closer I get to my mini goals, the more realistic this end result is.  Can you see my head on this body???  I can!  This outline is more for myself and anyone else, but feel free to take what you will

So this weeks plan:

Monday--Friday Meals with little to no variation

Slim fast bar

10 almonds

Slim fast bar with banana

10 almonds

 Strawberries

Apple

Salmon (orange, lemon butter, cream)and veggies

Possible additions- special k cereal with low fat milk, eggs and sausage, bananas, ect.

Monday workout- AM-10 minute trainer yoga in PM- p90x chest and back and ab ripper X

Tuesday- AM-10 minute yoga and 20 minute intervals PM p90x plyometrics

Wednesday AM- yoga PM- p90x shoulders and arms and ab ripper x

Thursday- AM- interval run PM- p90x Yoga X

Friday- Am- deep stretch yoga PM- p90x legs and back and ab ripper X

Saturday- KENPO X- p90x

Need to know how to get p90X (for the low low lol)...ask me, I will get you the info!

What are you doing this week!?  Any suggestions?

Random things to know about teaching in Korea-- PORK

Disgusted??  You should be.

I know it’s been a minute since I've talked about Korea, so I am going to try to include about 8 or 9 more blogs about the essentials before I leave the country and forget.  And one of the most important things for a healthy Diva such as me to know before venturing into the land of Kimchi, is that PORK is number 1.

Being that my parents are somewhat Rastafarian, I didn’t eat pork for about 15 years (with the occasional sneaky bacon when I went out to breakfast) but once I got to college it was a little harder to keep up that lifestyle.  However, contrary to most, my swine intake was still very small and ultimately limited to bacon and the sometimes very lean cuts they would put on the salads at food services (gotta miss Berea College).  Once I graduated from college and cooked all of my own food, I hardly ever had it at all.  Needless to say, things changed rather rapidly once I came to Korea. 

Pork is cheap and easily accessible here so it finds itself on my plate more often than any other food around.  Determined to not be “Diva-esque” when I got here, I tried my damndest to keep my mouth shut about the continuous ingestion of the bullshit swine other white meat, but that was short lived.  Every time the bosses took us out (and it’s rude to say no in Korea) pork was on the menu.  Everywhere I tried to grab something quick, a nasty pork snout was staring me in the face.  *INSERT EXTREMELY DISGUSTED DIVA FACE HERE WITH THE CAPTION “WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTY*.
So I started protesting any dinner that included pork and letting my disgust be well known.  Nicely, yet firmly, putting my stiletto down and refusing to partake.  Pre-Madonna much?  I thought so too.  So when this last dinner came around, the Diva in me acquiesced to the higher ups and went out for pork galbi.  BIG MISTAKE.

Enter FOOD POISONING stage right.  I am way to fly to be stuck on, and/or bent over the toilet.  Not my style.  And on top of that, I was sick for the next week and had to go to the hospital again and have a HORRIBLE thing done!!!!  The Diva was and is STILL kicking my butt for not sticking to my principles.

·         I will NOT be eating anything that comes from smelly disgusting pigs (except bacon when I get to England… Hypocritical?  SO WHAT!) I am putting pork right up there with mayonnaise, cottage cheese, and celery.

·         I will NOT go against my better judgment and do something that I don’t want to do to appear nice and easy going—I am nice, but I like what I like and I want what I want.  I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

At the end of the day, I like Korea overall, but I def miss the food of yesteryear.  

(FYI----Pig's bodies contain many toxins, worms and latent diseases. Although some of these infestations are harbored in other animals, modern veterinarians say that pigs are far more predisposed to these illnesses than other animals. This could be because pigs like to scavenge and will eat any kind of food, including dead insects, worms, rotting carcasses, excreta (including their own), garbage, and other pigs.) KILL ALL THE PIGGIES!!!

What foods do you hate and refuse to eat??

Feed Your...

Here are a list of Books Im reading to Feed my whatever... Enjoy!

FEED YOUR...
Business Sense:

I spent a whole year looking at this book and walking past it during my frequent trips to Barnes and Noble, after being on the NY times best sellers list for 2 years and with so many success stories I can not continue to ignore it.  Might help me acheive my fame that I so deserve lol. 

 FEED YOUR...
Imagination:

I started reading the Sowrd of Truth novels when I was in highschool and I never finished.  Not only was I excited to find the series again, but now there are 12 books!!! I am going to be sooooooo sleepless until I finish all of these 800+ page books seeing as how my Nook has been attached to me sinceI started reading them.  Starting back on book 2.  Click here for a brief synopsis.

 FEED YOUR...
Stomach:

Everyone likes to feed that.  I try to do a new recipe each week and I find that the recipes in this book are delicious, easy and healthy like the title suggests.  Very happy with it so far.

 FEED YOUR...
"What?  You didn't know that"

I don't know about you, but I love to have disucssions about things other than who did what with who on "The Game". And I love even more when I can say "I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DONT KNOW" ehhehehe.  I am all about expanding my knowledge on practically everything and I find this book particularly interesting.  Its all about some of the most noteworthy crimes up to his death.  Dumas is more well known for "The count of Monte Cristo" and "The Three Musketeers" . Awesome book to discuss! Free download here!!

 FEED YOUR...
Health:

This book is chock full of tips about how to be healthy while still enjoying food.  As you all know, western culture has grown quite disgusting when it comes to portion sizes and the way we abuse food.  I find that this book is very specific in the "What not to do" category.  Love it so far. 

Sooooooooooooo, if you were looking for new reading material, maybe you can try some of  these.  I will be updating this when I finish them all as I am knee deep in them right now!!!

What books are you reading right now??

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Last night I went out for drinks and food with the coworkers and the bosses and it was fabulous and full of fun discussions (and all that implies), however, throughout the entire dinner I am thinking to myself "Shaina stop eating meat"  and "Shaina don't drink anymore"  and "You KNOW how many calories are in Soju don't you".  And even though I was having a good time, those thoughts were nagging the back of my mind the entire evening.

Yesterday when I woke up, I was my smallest weight yet and when I looked in the mirror, I thought I could clearly see the flatness of my tummy, the muscles in my legs, and the definition in my shoulders.  I felt good.  Started my day with my slimfast bar and all was well with the world.  But after last night, I basically slept crippled with fear of what the scale would hold for me.

And wouldnt you know it, the damn thing went up...wait for it... .7 of a kg.  Small though it may seem, it did not bode well with Shay.  I wanted to chop off my arm.  And the mirror wasnt my friend.  Instead of the thinning and defined girl of yesterday, I was the ridiculously puffy girl of yester-year.  Now if thats not some psychological bullshit then I dont know what is!  I came home and exercised for 1.5 hours and had what...you guessed it... slim fast bar for dinner.

And as I avoided looking in the mirror at all costs, I realized that at the end of the day, I have to remember all the work I do, and all the sacrifices I make for my life style change.  I shouldn't avoid the mirror, or shy away from a fun night out, I should celebrate myself and my accomplishments.  I get so preoccupied with my end goal that I forget that I have already made such a difference.

All we ever really wanna do is feel good when we step in front of that magical demon and let him tell us that we are indeed "The fairest one of all" (at least in the room).  We want to feel that we are the most gorgeous in all the land (at least in the bar or club lol)!  And we step into those stilettos and those skin tight jeans, we want to know that all eyes will be on us.  And ultimately, I'm pretty sure my mirror has a crush on me and doesn't mind when I visit my old friend; food.  So I'll try to stop being so...obsessive.  Yea I think thats a good word.

Beyonce Blackface?? WTF

Man what the hell is this???  Recently Beyonce did a photo shoot where she "rocked" the blackface in order to pay homage to a Nigerian musician.  Hmmmm I'm sorry for the hood speech but, WHERE DEY DO DAT AT?

  The glossy is celebrating its 90th anniversary, and Beyonce marks the occasion with an homage to Nigerian musician and humanitarian Fela Kuti; Beyonce's husband, Jay-Z, is a producer on the acclaimed Broadway musical "Fela!," based on the icon's life, music and courageous defiance against government corruption. In a statement , L'Officiel describes the Feli-inspired photo of Beyonce -- sporting blackface, tribal paint and a dress designed by her mom -- as a "return to her African roots, as you can see on the picture, on which her face was voluntarily darkened."

Not everyone is a fan of the editorial vision and tribute to Kuti; the image simultaneously inspires and provokes. Writes Jezebel's Dodai Stewart: "It's fun to play with fashion and makeup, and fashion has a history of provocation and pushing boundaries. But when you paint your face darker in order to look more 'African,' aren't you reducing an entire continent, full of different nations, tribes, cultures and histories, into one brown color?"  See full article here

 So, my take on it??  Hmmm well aside from the obvious offensiveness, I'm just trying to figure out why the hell they thought this was a good idea.  Instead of finding a gorgeous chocolate woman who ACTUALLY HAS THAT SKIN TONE, we have to see Bey ass ONCE AGAIN in the spotlight.  I'm sorry but I think this is bullshit!  Why not have a huge group of Beautidul African women of different shades and hues and just INCLUDE Beyonce?  And since WHEN is blackface a fashion statement?  Where is Spike Lee?? What happened to being yourself in pictures and being proud of the skin you have?  If they arent trying to look white and getting their skin brightened for the cover of magazines they are getting air brushed to look smaller.  What the hell is society doing???

So is this Blackface fashion statement a cool idea and I'm exaggerating, Cuz I do that sometimes??  Or is this some grade A bullshit!?

Black Women are just Fat Bitches???

Ok, so how many of you were caught off guard or surprised when you saw the name of my blog??  I bet not many of you.  Why?  Because it seems that "Black Woman" and "Bitch" are synonymous.  I was recently web surfing and trying to stay abreast of the USA situations and what do I find???  This bullshit.  "FIRST LADY EATS RIBS".  How racist can a headline be.  Are you effing kidding me?  This is what the news headlines are going on about now???

click for ribs article

Michelle, who I think is absolutely gorgeous and just a stand up black woman all together, is being targeted by so many different groups not only because of how she looks, but because of the awesome things she is trying to implement, like healthy food choices in schools and USA in general.  You can find this BULLSHIT ARTICLE HERE.  And just look at the comments... Disgusting.  I don't recall them making these kinds of slanderous statements about Laura or Hilary and neither of them are tiny.  So not only is she portrayed as being fat and glutinous, but she is also seen as being rude and bitchy like the rest of US BLACK WOMEN!

I gotta say that I am more than a little disgusted here, but at the same time, we havent always portrayed ourselves in the best possible light, and yes I include myself in "we".  I too have suffered from being a raging bitch first to protect myself in my environment, then as a defense mechanism, until ultimately it was a habit that I had to break with a vengeance, not excuses, but truth.  And then there are things like this that definitely don't help our case.

I mean really??  All of that.  On one hand she is "handling her business" but as the reformed bitch, Wendy Williams says, at a certain point its about getting those bees with honey and not vinegar.  So back to my original point.  If black women aren't fat, we are bitches, and as one of my friends boyfriends said about me, we also can't keep a man and we lose them to white women (which is funny because I've had mine longer than almost all my friends, both white and black, have had theirs...hmmm food for thought sir).  Is this stereotype so blindingly in the forefront of our society that people don't notice a contradiction to the rule when they see it?  Have we portrayed such negative views of ourselves in life and media that we will never crawl out of this black hole of bitchness?  I mean, if the gorgeous and talented Mrs. Obama can be treated so badly by the media, both white and sadly black as well, are we doomed to forever be labeled as "ANGRY BLACK WOMAN"?  These questions are not rhetorical.  Shit, I'm NOT angry haha! And as I become more comfortable with myself and in my skin, I have begun to notice that a lot of the women I know aren't angry either.  So now I ask where do we go from here?

So what do you think?  Are we doomed to this title forever?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Signed,
Reformed Bitch

Hide ya kids, Hide ya wife