Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Dear 2011

Dear 2011,

We haven't met yet, but I can assure you that when we do, it will be memorable for both of us.  I am very well acquainted with with your little brother, 2010, so I just wanted to formally introduce myself, tell you some things about my past, and let you know what I expect from our relationship.  Now that I am leaving your brother for you, I think we need to get some things clear. 

Firstly, your brother and I had a lot of good times, some of the best of my life in fact.  With your brother,
  • I lost 60 pounds 
  • I became a nicer person 
  • I cut off all my permed hair 
  • I moved to another country
  • I fell in complete love with a woman named Shaina
  • I learned to listen to the voice (sometimes voices) in my head
  • I learned to put myself first and do what I want above all else
  • I learned when to shut the hell up
  • I've hiked a mountain
  • I've gone scuba diving
  • I let love speak louder than logic
  • I've grown as a woman and as a girlfriend 
  • And as was evident in 2009, 2008, ect as well... I was the shit...
As you can see, your brother will be hard to top, but I have lots of faith in your potential and I believe that you will show your brother up in many ways.  Your brother was quite the catch for me.  I wonder if you are as well endowed as he is lol. I am a girl who tends to get what I want from the likes of you, and since 2010 was soooo good, you had better be great.  Here are some things I am expecting from you

  • A loss of 40 more pounds (60 really, but I wont put to much on you at once)
  • Seeing at LEAST 4 more countries
  • Wear my own big ass curly hair
  • Size 10 baby!!!
  • I want to hate fatty foods (hahahaha yea right)
  • I want us to meet the parents
  • I want to spend more time happy than sad (and I will be keeping count)
  • I want ALL FLY EVERYTHING-- Def need to up my game... Time for more shoes, bag, and clothes!!!
As you can see, here are just a few of my requirements.  They are more like nonnegotiables.  Give them to me and maybe I will be as good to you as I was to your brother and all of those before you.  Now that we have all of that clear, I can firmly go into this relationship  with faith.  I look forward to becoming very intimate with you  and I can't wait for everything that will unfold.  See you soon.

With love,


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