Dear 2011,
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We haven't met yet, but I can assure you that when we do, it will be memorable for both of us. I am very well acquainted with with your little brother, 2010, so I just wanted to formally introduce myself, tell you some things about my past, and let you know what I expect from our relationship. Now that I am leaving your brother for you, I think we need to get some things clear.
Firstly, your brother and I had a lot of good times, some of the best of my life in fact. With your brother,
- I lost 60 pounds
- I became a nicer person
- I cut off all my permed hair
- I moved to another country
- I fell in complete love with a woman named Shaina
- I learned to listen to the voice (sometimes voices) in my head
- I learned to put myself first and do what I want above all else
- I learned when to shut the hell up
- I've hiked a mountain
- I've gone scuba diving
- I let love speak louder than logic
- I've grown as a woman and as a girlfriend
- And as was evident in 2009, 2008, ect as well... I was the shit...
As you can see, your brother will be hard to top, but I have lots of faith in your potential and I believe that you will show your brother up in many ways. Your brother was quite the catch for me. I wonder if you are as well endowed as he is lol. I am a girl who tends to get what I want from the likes of you, and since 2010 was soooo good, you had better be great. Here are some things I am expecting from you
- A loss of 40 more pounds (60 really, but I wont put to much on you at once)
- Seeing at LEAST 4 more countries
- Wear my own big ass curly hair
- Size 10 baby!!!
- I want to hate fatty foods (hahahaha yea right)
- I want us to meet the parents
- I want to spend more time happy than sad (and I will be keeping count)
- I want ALL FLY EVERYTHING-- Def need to up my game... Time for more shoes, bag, and clothes!!!
As you can see, here are just a few of my requirements. They are more like nonnegotiables. Give them to me and maybe I will be as good to you as I was to your brother and all of those before you. Now that we have all of that clear, I can firmly go into this relationship with faith. I look forward to becoming very intimate with you and I can't wait for everything that will unfold. See you soon.
With love,
Shaina
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