Thursday, April 28, 2011

Vintage Photo Jars I LOVE! (Wedding centerpiece or home decor)

This is such an awesome Idea that I plan on implementing later.

This couple decided to make their own table center pieces for their wedding reception.  Plan on making some of these to go around the house and def as a wedding decoration in the future.  

What you need:

•Quart sized mason jar with lid (70's old school jar)
•Black and white 4x6 picture trimmed to fit
•Vegetable oil
•Dried flowers (optional)
1.) Insert your picture into the mason jar and pour enough vegetable oil to cover completely.
2.) Put some dried flowers on the opposite side of the picture. I will use lavender like she did
3.) Tighten the lid up and it's done! The vegetable oil will suspend the picture inside the jar without penetrating it, causing it to look aged and slightly transparent. A total vintage look of old yellowed pictures from the past.

Looks Beautiful and I cant wait to try it in my new home.  Original Post can be found here.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Things to know about Korea: SEX

So Yesterday I was basically keeled over in pain because of my massive monthly pains.  TMI?? Well get the hell off my blog then!  (Can you tell I still have it?) I could barely finish my classes because I was dead by the afternoon and my Co-teacher (the teacher who is kind of in charge of you)had to drive me home because I couldnt walk.  As I am sitting at my desk just now she starts asking me if I am ok and I explain to her that the 2nd day is always the worst for me and she says

"Don't worry, when you get married it will be better"

Me- "I don't understand"

Her- "Well you know when you are not a virgin anymore after you marry your period will get better"

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (pump your car breaks please)


ME THINKING- "you got to be fucking kidding me right... I gets it in boo boo" (ghetto girl style)

WHAT I SAY INSTEAD- "Oooo yeaaa right, ok I see, I hope so hehehe"

Hmmmm can you say awkward?

Which brings me to my point:  PREMARITAL SEX in Korea is definitely not something you want to talk about with your co-teachers or bosses.  

I bet you are thinking "Why would I have to talk about sex with them anyway"?  Let me answer that question by providing another short real life scenario.

I was interested in looking into birth control a while back but being that I dont speak Korean it would make an informed doctors visit quite the difficult task.  I asked my boss if my friend Mindy (young korean teacher who is much more westernized and is actually my FRIEND) could be the person to take me to the ...ahem... lady doctor.  And she said NO IT MUST BE YOUR CO-TEACHER.  I explained to her that I did not feel comfortable talking to my co-teacher about lady things but she wasn't trying to hear it.  1. Because Mindy and I are friends and 2. Because if Mindy goes she can't get the scoop on everything I had to talk to the doctor about.  Nosey is the rule rather than the exception when it comes to the Korean Way.  

So I am supposed to go talk about Birth Control so I can have free and happy babyless sex with my honey pie with a woman who thinks I am a virgin and who will no doubt relay the message to the rest of the office?  Not a chance in hell.  On the other side of that, she is one of the sweetest women ever, and I'd rather not have her know all the business of my VagCookie.

POINT:  If you are coming to Korea, make sure you know what kind of birth control and things you need and remember that its definitely old fashioned here so if you aren't married they probably think you are a virgin!

I am so glad none of the other western teachers were in the office when this happened because I could just imagine the snickers I would have heard.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

My Style Costs Too Much

I hate not being rich.  I think of all the fly clothes I could have and travelling that I want to do and I feel like I will never be able to afford the lifestyle I want.  Then I remember that I am only 25, with 6 years of college, 2 degrees, and a year overseas under my belt.  Not bad for a poor black girl from the Bronx.

My tastes have always surpassed my income, even from an early age.  So it comes as no surprise that just as I am able to afford what I liked before, my taste and style is changing.  Way to go Shaina.

*Sigh*  This is what I like now...

If you click and check the prices you will be just as disappointed as I am.

But if you know anything about me, you know I am quite frugal when it comes to my number one habit...


Never fear---DISCOUNT SHAINA IS HERE!  I am sure to find o so similar things in much less expensive stores.  Yes sir.  And it gives me even more motivation to get rid of all of my old crap and to keep at the working out!  EVERYTHING MUST GO!  Packing! Packing!

I realize that I have the greatest desire for the following things:

  1. Travelling
  2. New experiences
  3. Being Fab at all times
  4. Flat toned stomach
  5. Enough money to have 1-4 and not worry about the bank

Yep. There it is.  And I realize that I have to have all these things even if I have to do them alone.

Step 1:  Find a Job...

Aye Que Lindo

Monday, April 18, 2011

Workout check in Video

People have been asking me about my routine.  Here is a video.  More detailed one to come later on tonight!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Barbie and Disney f***ed Us Up

So after my last post (my bad ya'll) I have been considering some things about body image and the way we look at ourselves.  Looking back, Disney and Barbie sold us images of ridiculously skinny, busty, no waist, long hair having Princesses and dolls starting from BIRTH.  I remember how obsessed I was with playing Barbie and how much I loved to make Barbie and Ken do it (I know... fast as hell).  I wanted Barbie hair as well.  And Disney??? Don't even get me started on them.  Disney creates the most distorted views of love in the minds of little girls everywhere.  Pushing the idea that "Some day my prince will come"... MY ASS.  Disney forgot to mention that he was going to be a cheater, quite possibly no education and be wearing gold fronts.  They also forgot to tell us that when we go to college we would decrease the number of suitable men that were available to us...or anything about college at all!!  What?? No Princess Harvard?  Not to mention, on the rare occasion that we do find a Prince, Disney didnt tell us that he would suck in certain areas and we would have to compromise in more areas than we would like to.  There was no "How to" book that told us that Prince Charming could also be Prince Asshole, Emperor Inconsiderate, or King Romanceless.  NOPE!!  Didn't tell me THAT part.   Yea I have so many bones to pick with them for that I need a whole damn skeleton.

I found this picture on line that I thought was excellent.  This is the difference that Barbie's body took on in the early 2000's.  Notice the smaller waist and the bikini looking ass.  And how many girls actually look like that. Hmmm I can answer that question... NONE !

Exhibit A- REAL life- size Barbie.This young lady had an eating disorder and decided it was time to take another look at some things... like Barbie.  Using the dimensions of an actual doll, she scaled them up to the proportions of a real person and this is what she came up with.  Taking the actual scaled dimensions (mathematically) into consideration,:

"If Barbie were an actual women, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe".  Get the F*** out of here !!!

She looks dumb as hell! Hahahahahahahahah!  This really cracks me up!  

Ok, now for the point we all know and love... Let's bring it on home Shay...

The view of beauty has been and continues to be distorted by all of the people in power to do so. 

But...  Let's be honest.  Only fat people really complain about it. HAHAHA!!  Ok, ok, ok... fat people and people that love fat people.  While I do not consider myself a fat girl anymore, I definitely don't consider myself skinny either.  The truth of the matter is, the media DOES control the perception of the majority of the world.  Like it or not.  You either fit the mold or you don't.  And I myself know that I have fallen victim to the majority if for no other reason than the fact that I didn't lose weight to be healthy, I did it to be fly.  Judge me if you choose.  Health was the last thing on my mind.  I was always healthy.  

So do I have self image issues because of the world we live in?? Sure as hell do.  But so does everyone else.  There are some skinny bitches walking around wishing they could gain a few pounds.  My neighbor wants bigger boobs.  My best friend wants a bigger ass.  My white friend wants a smaller ass.  We are all products of our environment and I'm sorry but "thin is in".  I applaud everyone who tries to show that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, I agree.  At the end of the day its all about your own personal perception.  I'm glad making this model helped this young lady get over her eating disorder.  But we don't want Barbie walking around looking like this do we.  

In case you are curious...Barbie facts for you reading pleasure (or disgust in my case)

• There are two Barbie dolls sold every second in the world.
• The target market for Barbie doll sales is young girls ages 3-12 years of age.
• A girl usually has her first Barbie by age 3, and collects a total of seven dolls during her childhood.
• Over a billion dollars worth of Barbie dolls and accessories were sold in 1993, making this doll big business and one of the top 10 toys sold.
• If Barbie were an actual women, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe.
• Barbie calls this a "full figure" and likes her weight at 110 lbs.
• At 5'9" tall and weighing 110 lbs, Barbie would have a BMI of 16.24 and fit the weight criteria for anorexia. She likely would not menstruate.
• If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.
• Slumber Party Barbie was introduced in 1965 and came with a bathroom scale permanently set at 110 lbs with a book entitled "How to Lose Weight" with directions inside stating simply "Don't eat."--- (WTF)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Dear Diary...WHAT THE F*&$

I just stumbled upon a realization that wasn't so realized.  My goal- 185 lbs by the time I leave Korea- is not going to get accomplished.  I have worked my ass off.  I have done (ALMOST) everything right. Yet somehow, I am still 20+ lbs away from my ultimate.  How do I feel about that??

I'm Fucking Pissed.

I pretty much work my ass off and barely eat anything I want.  I exercise twice a day on most days and restrict my calories to SHIT.  I take Vitamins, I drink like a gallon of water, and I barely drink.  What the fuck is the problem! I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW.  No matter what I do, I never feel like its enough.  No matter how long I work out or how hard I go, I always feel like I could have done better; like I should be working harder.  It is just not fair.  Fuck everyone who can eat what they want all the time and stay rail thin.  I hope your damn hearts explode at 30.  I hope all of a sudden you just com-bust and turn into a big fat doughnut.  FUCK YOU  !  DIE  !  TO HELL WITH YOU  !!!

Now that an hour has passed since I wrote that, I have calmed down quite a bit.  Still pissed off, but more rational.  BREATHING.

Ok.  When I first came to Korea I was about 227 (103 kg) and now I am at 95.5 (about 209) and that fluctuate between 96.0 (on cheat days) and 94.9 (on great days).  20 pounds in 10 months... O GREAT JOB SHAINA (cue sarcasm here).  I know I should be all "O I have accomplished so much" blah blah my asshole, but somewhere deep inside of me, the perfectionist/skinny girl will not let me feel that way.

I am proud of the health changes.  As a whole, they are considerably better than they were before.  I mean, I even love working out at home, whereas before, I was paying for a gym membership I was barely using (FAIL).  So yea, I am doing great there... but these pounds have got to go  !!!  THIS IS AN EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE  !!!! GET THE HELL OUT  !

So what happens now...

Now I realize that I leave here in 2 months (almost exactly) and I still have 20 lbs to lose before I reach my goal.  As the chronic and obsessive planner, I very rarely make a goal that I do not accomplish.  CASI NUNCA   !!!!  So this is kind of killing me.  2 months.  Thats about 10 lbs a month roughly which means that a severe ass kicking has to take place.  I have to go on an even more restricted diet and spend even more time working out.  Now I research vegetable cleanses and low carbs meals even more.  Now I restrict my fat Friday meal to KINDA fat Friday.  Now I go fucking crazy because that is what I do when I can't have something I want.  I go MAD.  IM THE MAD HATTER  !


So now I am off to relax and try to sleep.  I just talked myself out of going SUPER-OVER0THE-EDGE-SHAINA-CRAZY like I usually do, but I am def going to LOCK IT UP a little more.  And people telling me to stop working so hard and stop worrying about it... GO TO HEL  L!! You have obviously never been fat before OR you are fat now and too stupid to care OR you dont love shopping and looking cute as much as I do.  Either way.  Leave me alone.  Fuck off  !  Have another drink, and eat another burger.  I will probably feel like shit about this post in the morning..... fuck it

To all of my readers, please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes as I can not go back and read this or it will just piss me off.  I wrote it as I thought it.  GOOD DAY!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

She Saw Me Naked

Well first things first.  This weekend was yet another spent in Seoul yet not by choice. My original plan was to stay home, pack, clean, hit the jimjilbang (Korean bath house) for a workout and tub soak, and try my hand at new recipes.  I wanted to just have a relaxing weekend inside but sadly, Jess’ cousin died and she was extremely sad so we went to Seoul to distract her.  Alas, my quiet weekend did not go as planned.  But at least I was fly. 

Now we get to the funny part
I spent most of the day in Seoul wishing that I could be at the jimjilbang exercising and then having a nice soak in the tub.  So today, I made it my business to get to the gym and work this body!  It was lovely.  150 plus sit ups, arms, 20 min intervals, 20 minute elliptical, and about 10 on the bike.  I was all hype and ready to get in the tub.  Went to my locker and got naked and right as I am prancing my naked body to the tub, I hear:


My heart starts beating fast as hell.  Here I am assed and vagina-ed out right in front of one of my ex students.  So of course I try to play it off like I’m not uncomfortable. 

“Hello honey, how are you”
“I am fine and you”
“O I am very well.  Are you here alone” (hoping mom isn’t about to come from around the corner”
“No, Shaina Teacher, this is my sister”
“OOOO Hi” (lord have mercy lets all see naked Shaina)

Finally, I make my way to the bath and away from the prying eyes of the 11 year old girl who interestingly enough did not seem fazed at all by the naked black woman in front of her.  My bath and relaxation was wonderful and just when I was feeling like everything was ok, guess who runs passed me naked… yep my student, “GOODBYE SHAINA TEACHER”.  I would have been arrested for exposing myself to a minor if I was in the USA.  I mean, it really shows you how different the culture is.  You can see women of all ages bonding and bathing together completely comfortable and naturally in this country, when in America (which is much more sexually liberal than Korea) you wouldn’t really see such things. The Bath houses will def be in the top 10 things I will miss about Korea, but not seeing my students there!

Anyway, now that I am home and relaxing, I had time to cook some yummy dinner and clean the house.  I made chicken Alfredo (sans pasta noodles of course... CARB DEATH) with broccoli, bacon, red peppers, and cherry tomatoes.  It was luscious.   And later I am planning on dipping into my guilty pleasure bag.  But not too much chocolate before I go to sleep!!

Why??  Because obviously when I have chocolate right before bed, I get engaged to tall white bald men.  Let me explain.  Last night I had a dream that Rob and I were going to get engaged.  I just KNEW it was coming.  I felt it.  Then he bought me a small toy car for Christmas and told me not to look in it (yea right).  I looked in and saw the ring.  I WAS SO EXCITED.  Two days later when the man asked me to marry him it was NOT Robert, it was some white guy named Robert.  Now I can honestly say that my unconscious mind was pissed off (I felt uncomfortable), but dream Shaina was happy as pie, just like if it was Rob.  WTF.  Big beautiful ring too with a blue diamond.  What the hell.

So yea, no mas chocolate antes de dormir porque tengo pesadillas sobre hombres blanco.  So all in all the weekend was kind of a decent.  Next weekend, no one will talk me out of staying in Cheongju and relaxing!   

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The "Work in Progress" has Progressed

I was going through some of my old emails and getting rid of spam, and I found the link to my old blog on Xanga.  I was curious to see what I was thinking about back in 2009 and the first blog I read was signed “A work in progress".  That is an understatement for what I was at the end of 2009.  I was like "a work screwed up".

They say that sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can start to crawl your way to the top and at that time, my leg had actually pushed through the bottom of the rock.  I was bitchy, fat, angry, hated my job, and just miserable over all.  I had just had a major relationship changing fight with Robert (thought it was relationship ruining but it actually worked out for the better in the long run), I was about to pay $1,300 for the TEFL course so I could move to Korea, I had a whole bunch of friends who did not have my best interest at heart, and I was basically angry all the time because anger is easier than any other emotion. 

It was at the end of this year that I decided to change everything I didn’t like about myself.  This was no easy task as it also entailed getting rid of friends, and honestly confronting the things that I disliked about myself.  I was lazy, overweight, full of complaints, jealous, bitchy, rude, and even though I had high self esteem and never doubted my beauty, I hated the way I looked. 

Step 1- Admit you have a problem.

I started writing more and really thinking about my life.  I realized that most of my new “friends” knew absolutely nothing about me and therefore could not understand my moving to another country.  Their words of warning were more like them expressing the sheer stupidity of my decision.  Not ok.  I am sure their intentions were good, but at the end of the day their method of delivery SUCKED. 

Step 2- Cut the baggage; people included.

It was like an everything must go sale.  Friends, clothing, weight, attitude, job, and doubts about my relationship; all had to be removed before I could progress into Shaina 2.0.  I Cleared my life of all the clutter that was keeping me from the desires of my heart and guess what happened… I OBTAINED ALL THE DESIRES OF MY HEART!  A new country, a better body and a better relationship.  I mean, look at the difference in the 2 pictures on the left compared to the 2 on the right.  Shame on me for walking around looking like the subway blimp.  I can judge myself but you can’t.

2 on the left are 2009 and early 2010
2 on the right are late 2011

Step 3- Get rid of the excuses and get what you want. 

Once I acknowledge the problem and removed the things standing in my way, the only thing left was to make it happen.  By “it” I mean everything I wanted.  No more workout excuses.  No more flipping on my boyfriend when my feelings are hurt instead of just talking to him.  No more obsessive eating out.  No more jealousy.  No more DRAMA (cue Mary J Blige song immediately). 

Step 4- Appreciate EVERYTHING.

And now, I am the happiest I have ever been with only more happiness on the horizon.  I am in better shape than I have been since high school and wearing a size I haven’t worn since 10th grade and having lost 75 lbs.  I can’t remember the last time my boyfriend and I yelled at each other.  I regulate my stress issues.  I watch what I eat at all times.  I exercise at LEAST 5 times a week.  I love myself.  I smile every day.  I’ve been in another country for 10 months and I am moving to yet another with the love of my life in another 2.  I have no idea where I will be in 5 years or even 3, and for the first time in my life, I have no desire to.  

So, I guess you could say that the work in progress has definitely progressed.  I'm glad I stumbled across that old blog.  Sometimes I forget how far I've come because I'm so concentrated on the end result.  Gotta remember to enjoy the process.

Enjoy the ride Shaina, enjoy the ride.  

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Sitting here drinking wine (as is evident by the title) in an effort to stop thinking about the things that I am currently stressing over and I ended up thinking about a bunch of other things.  Pick one and tell me your opinion... Love to hear other people's thoughts on any of these especially if you're drinking wine too.  

  1. Why is it that all the things that taste so good are all the things that are so bad for you?
  2. Why does black hair take so long to grow?
  3. Why do babies smell so good?
  4. Why is weight easy to put on and hard to take off?
  5. Is it better to be a jack of all trades OR a master at one?
  6. Why do people spend so much time talking about the sin of premarital sex and homosexuality instead of the things that really hurt people like judging, sloth, and jealousy?
  7. Why does it sometimes take a disaster to bring us closer together?
  8. Why does it take most men longer than women to be ready for marriage?
  9. Why does TV feed girls these perfect fairytales and ultimately fuck them up emotionally?
  10. Why does God love us so much when we don't deserve it?
  11. Why are some women so dependent on a man that they can never be single?
  12. Why do some women/men become so weak for a man/woman that they will allow him/her to treat them like shit?
  13. Why is this new generation of students so damn unmotivated to succeed?
  14. Why do I still have to work harder than a man?
  15. Should we go into situations with immediate trust or should we make people earn it?
  16. Do you wish on stars?
  17. Is it better to have goals and never reach them, or to be content with mediocrity?
  18. What is about to happen to education in America?
  19. When God shows you that people in your life no longer have a place there, how do you just let them go?
  20. Is everyone ELSE fucked up, or is MY idea of friendship just wrong?
  21. Why do I need to be in control?
  22. Am I ever going to pick one career or am I going to be trying something different forever?
  23. When is the idea of "beautiful" going to change in the media?
  24. Does always wanting more mean that you can never be happy?
I plan on writing a follow up to this and answer all of my own questions... but not now. Now... I load up on wine to stop my mind.  BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL I must free myself from mental anguish.  

Sunday, April 3, 2011

A Weekend of Vagina

Ok so not quite a weekend, but the title is catchy isn’t it?  This weekend’s big event was the Vagina Monologues in Seoul, the whole day proved to be well beyond interesting. 
I had to catch a taxi to get to the bus station so that I could meet up with Jess before heading to Seoul.  I made sure to work out before I left and that put me in a sexy and thin feeling mood J. I put on a little something that was about 2 steps above my everyday wear and heels (Heeeeeey) which doesn’t happen too often at all in Korea. 

So I am in the back of the taxi and putting on lip gloss to finish off the look when the taxi driver starts talking to me in Korean.  As normal I just start saying NAY (yes) so that he will shut the hell up and leave me alone, but he starts laughing so I ask him WHAT??  Then he motions to his chest to show the gesture for big boobs and then points to me… W…T…F?  I was like HUH?  He laughs harder and proceeds to start asking me what kind of men I like… it went something like this:

“Japan man”
“China man”
NO my boyfriend WAYGUK (American)
…continues naming countries as if I don’t have a boyfriend
“OOOOOO Italy man”
Yea you get the point and this continued for the while 7 minute taxi ride… SIR I JUST WANT TO LISTEN TO MY BOOK!!!  Not so much.

Skip forward Jess and I arriving in Seoul and embarking on the food journey which landed us at a Greek restaurant called… hmmm I don’t remember… sad story.  Anyway, I thought it was quite delicious but Jess said her Lemon chicken tasted like a TV dinner.  YIKES!  We had a full on 4-course meal; appetizers, salad and soup, wine, entre, and baklava for dessert!  YUM!  As we sat there we were discussing the vaggie mono we were going to see and the waiter comes to the table right as I exclaim “AND I LOVE VAGINA” yep, and he spoke English… Great Job Shay.  But it did give a great laugh to all parties involved including the blushing waiter. 

Rrrrrrrrlrlrlrlrl—(that’s the fast forward sound in case you didn’t recognize it in written form ahhaha) So fast forward to the actual event.  Lucky enough for us we got there early enough to get tickets and seats as the show sold out within the first 45 minutes not even leaving standing room.  As Jess and I opted for another glass of wine and waited for the show to start, I took a moment to look around the spot and I noticed races, ethnicities, and personalities of all kinds.  It was nice to be surrounded by such a variety of people as I rarely get the chance in Korea.  The show began with loud voices and vibrant spoken word pieces discussing everything from comical anecdotes about what your vagina would say if it could talk and the art of please yourself, to the brutal rape and castration torte that some women have to endure.  I felt bipolar as I was taken high and dropped low over and over again.  My favorite piece was the one that went through and described how women orgasm by their ethnicity or their religious beliefs.  It was hilarious and just when I thought that she wasn’t going to imitate black women she says “The African America orgasm—O SHIT O SHIT O FUCK”  Hmmm accurate?  I plead the 5th.  All in all, the show was wonderful and I would recommend it to anyone in South Korea (or anywhere else in the world anyway)  All proceeds went to the house of sharing which is the organization that supports women who were taken and made to become sex slaves to Japanese soldiers during the war.  

And wouldn’t you know, I lucked up again on the taxi ride to the bus station.  Jess and I were pretty much auditorilly  (yep I make up words) raped by the taxi driver who started talking about the words for penis and vagina in Korean.  Not only that, but he started imitating the sounds that Korean make when having sex.  It was out of control.  I recorded the video and I am going to post that utter (yet hilarious) nastiness on youtube as soon as I finish editing.  He kept it going for the whole 10 minutes to the bus station.  Assaulted by 2 different taxi drivers in one day!  Only in South Korea. 

Anywho, it was a great weekend that I will definitely add into the epic pile. 

Sooooo I wonder… If your vagina could talk, what would it say??
Mine would just giggle all day J.