Saturday, July 23, 2011

Maybe It's Me...

Being new to England, I try to get out as much as I can and being that I don't know anything about the area and I suck at driving, I tend to have to go out with other people.  I am usually such a people person- I can generally get along with anyone.  But on these last few outings I have completely hated the people I went out with, but then I wonder ..."is it me".  

Last weekend I went out with a bunch of children.  They were between 20 and 23 but when you are in the military with no responsibilities, that really subtracts about 2 or 3 years from your maturity age.  Which makes it even worse because while I don't know a specific "maturity age" for myself, I ALWAYS handle my business and I plan everything to the last detail.  Even with the information that the birthday girl herself was only turning 21 I had faith that the alcohol would put the ages a little closer together- How wrong I was.  These people got drunk off their asses, disappeared, we couldn't find the hotel, my boyfriends friend Brian (birthday girls boyfriend and Robs co-worker) ended up ditching as all because the chick thought he was flirting with us and started slapping him around right before she threw up in the limo.  

Can we say RUINED WEEKEND??  Then we had to find our way back to Cambridge.  None of these assholes could even find a ride for us and once we got back to the base, no one was volunteering to take me home "take a taxi"- FUCK YOU ALL.  So I had to call someone...the chick who has only been here for a month was able to get someone to pick us up but they couldn't, how about that shit.  Throughout this whole ordeal I had to play the mommy role, come up with suggestions, make decisions, and get shit done, as always.  By the end of the weekend everyone had gotten a thorough Shaina curse out to take home with them.  

Fast forward to yesterday.  Robs other friend, Freddy, invited me to go out with him and his friend to the mall for some shopping and some Movie watching.  Now I actually  like this dude; he is reliable and seriously full of energy...SERIOUSLY, so I was excited to go out with them.  The day finally arrives and I meet the friend.  she comes in the house and I say my usually happy-go-lucky  "HELLO" and she says nothing- First sign that I wasn't going to like her.  When you walk into a house and you are meeting someone for the first time you should acknowledge them personally when they say hello.  Then 3 minutes later Freddy actually remembers to introduce us and she gives a weak "Hi", so I just nod.  At this point I was still going to try to give her a second chance.  I told myself that I was being too judgemental and I should chill out.  We get in the car and I immediately take the front seat, I wasn't going to but hey, fuck her- establish dominance.  I try to have a conversation or two with her but all she can talk about is her 7 year sex hiatus (she should have killed herself) her stalker ex husband, and how he wont give her custody of her daughter.  

Now I am NOT a monster and that is a sucky situation, but EVERYONE is dealing with shit.  I wasn't going out so I could listen to someone complain and sit there and stare at pictures on their phone all damn day.  Again, I'm not evil, but I also have very little contact with the outside world from my little house in the country and when I do meet people and go out, I want to have FUN.  I want to talk shit about people, laugh, and look fly (I did look fly though).  

I miss my girls.  I haven't had true ride or die girl friends since phoenix (a few in Korea but not really long enough to get to the ride or die point) and since I can't bring my Skype to the bar, maybe I should give up.  Back the the original point, maybe it's me.  I was actually wondering this for a minute.  Am I just too judgemental and hard on the people that I've been meeting?  The answer is HELL NO.  The weekend from hell with all the drunk young people, yea the deserve to be hated.  The chick who did absolutely nothing but complain the whole day and the only time she smiled is when she was laughing at something that she didn't tell us about, yea she deserves to be disliked as well.  So no, it's not me, it's all these other people who SUCK ASS.  

I just want some normal girl friends who are like minded.  Some women who went to college and have aspirations and goals, want to travel, want to keep their bodies healthy and happy, and can sit over a glass of wine and have intelligent conversation that doesn't include or revolve around man bashing.  There has either been drama or complaining on both weekends and I am not up for it.  I need to be uplifted and not have my emotions dragged down because I feel sorry for someone.  

Anyway, I have run my mouth enough.  Sadly, I don't see this changing any time soon so I better just get used to it.  I can just stick it out in the house until Rob comes back and then we can go off and meet new people together.  But at the end of the day, I miss home.  


  1. Aww pookie I am sorry you have had a terrible weekend. I honestly think that you shouldnt feel bad. You know how it was at the age of 21. You weren't as bad as them but you can tell right off whether or not they would have been a mature 21 year old crowd. You know? As for you being judgemental, that is BONKERRS!!! You are not that type of person. You are the one that will give anybody a chance, you are the one that people automatically feel comfortable around. I feel what you are saying though. I have been in similar situations up here and not only has it been a clash of personalities but a clash of morals too. Nobody can replace your friends back home and what I have come to realize is that I find myself comparing everyone I meet to my sistas. Not only do I expect of a level of classiness but also I expect to feel comfortable enough to take my shoes off in front of them. I think thats how you feeling. I used to say that if I could bring one of my girls up here things would be so much better but in reality I know it's not going to happen. You could sit in the house and be a homebody until Rob gets back but that isn't the Shaina I know. I believe that things are going to get better and you are going to come across that one girl that you can do all the things you want to do with (wine, convos, shopping) and just have a good time. Wish I could be there with you but I am in the same boat that you are in. It will get better. Love you sis!

  2. I can imagine that such an outing would be stressful and annoying. It's tough moving to a new place and trying find a crowd that gels with you... but hopefully you'll find a crowd that appreciates you and gets your vibe soon :) Good luck!!


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