Tranquilo

Hoy fue un dia muy estresante.  No me gusta hoy.  Queria martar a todos.  Los ninos, mis amigos; todas.   Pero...yo tenia recordar...TRANQUILO.

As is usually the case, the days before my time of the month (hitherto referred to as TOM) find me being unable to fall asleep at night.  I have no idea why but it happens.  I lie in bed trying to fall asleep and nothing happens for hours.  Once I finally fall asleep, its about 4 am and the idea of waking up sounds murderous.  "iewuhfisdfnfnj"-- that might as well be what my Korean alarm sings at 7 am telling me that it is time for a workout.  I was livid.  I didn't even hit snooze, but dared the alarm to go off again- and it didn't (because I didnt have the snooze on lol but I like to think I am a bad ass).

At this point, the idea of a workout sounded like nails on a chalk board.  I could barely open my eyes.  I thought for sure that TOM would rear his head today but no such luck.  Waiting for that bastard is mentally worse than the physical pain I feel when he arrives.  The visual is important so that one can feel release from the madness that PMS (or PMDD in my case) brings.  Maybe tomorrow.

I made it through the day and managed not to step on anyones toes too much but I still had a foul attitude that I could do nothing about.  It definitely doesn't help that those 6lbs haven't disappeared yet either.  That has been on my mind.  So as promised, when I got home, I ventured to the gym with Ben.  Clothes on, shoes on, mp3 at the ready, only for me to get there and have them say that they don't do one month memberships.  Shaina is going to be in Korea for less than 30 days.  Finally, she would allow the one month for $80.  Get the F*** out of here lady.  So, a very disappointed and pissed off Shaina went home.

Now I sit here trying to fight tears- pointless tears might I add.  I am overwhelmed with thoughts like "my face is breaking out" "I wouldnt have gained weight if I had self control" "You must be weak if you let these TOM emotions get to you" "What do you mean you have no energy" and several more that are even worse.  I swear I wish I was a man.

Anyway.  Now I go and take a steaming hot shower, shave something (ANYTHING) so I feel sexy, get in a nice facial, pick out something decent to wear for tomorrow, and relax.  

Manana sera mejor......Anoche, es el tiempo de traquilmente.