Sunday, April 3, 2011

A Weekend of Vagina

Ok so not quite a weekend, but the title is catchy isn’t it?  This weekend’s big event was the Vagina Monologues in Seoul, the whole day proved to be well beyond interesting. 
I had to catch a taxi to get to the bus station so that I could meet up with Jess before heading to Seoul.  I made sure to work out before I left and that put me in a sexy and thin feeling mood J. I put on a little something that was about 2 steps above my everyday wear and heels (Heeeeeey) which doesn’t happen too often at all in Korea. 

So I am in the back of the taxi and putting on lip gloss to finish off the look when the taxi driver starts talking to me in Korean.  As normal I just start saying NAY (yes) so that he will shut the hell up and leave me alone, but he starts laughing so I ask him WHAT??  Then he motions to his chest to show the gesture for big boobs and then points to me… W…T…F?  I was like HUH?  He laughs harder and proceeds to start asking me what kind of men I like… it went something like this:

“Japan man”
“China man”
NO my boyfriend WAYGUK (American)
…continues naming countries as if I don’t have a boyfriend
“OOOOOO Italy man”
Yea you get the point and this continued for the while 7 minute taxi ride… SIR I JUST WANT TO LISTEN TO MY BOOK!!!  Not so much.

Skip forward Jess and I arriving in Seoul and embarking on the food journey which landed us at a Greek restaurant called… hmmm I don’t remember… sad story.  Anyway, I thought it was quite delicious but Jess said her Lemon chicken tasted like a TV dinner.  YIKES!  We had a full on 4-course meal; appetizers, salad and soup, wine, entre, and baklava for dessert!  YUM!  As we sat there we were discussing the vaggie mono we were going to see and the waiter comes to the table right as I exclaim “AND I LOVE VAGINA” yep, and he spoke English… Great Job Shay.  But it did give a great laugh to all parties involved including the blushing waiter. 

Rrrrrrrrlrlrlrlrl—(that’s the fast forward sound in case you didn’t recognize it in written form ahhaha) So fast forward to the actual event.  Lucky enough for us we got there early enough to get tickets and seats as the show sold out within the first 45 minutes not even leaving standing room.  As Jess and I opted for another glass of wine and waited for the show to start, I took a moment to look around the spot and I noticed races, ethnicities, and personalities of all kinds.  It was nice to be surrounded by such a variety of people as I rarely get the chance in Korea.  The show began with loud voices and vibrant spoken word pieces discussing everything from comical anecdotes about what your vagina would say if it could talk and the art of please yourself, to the brutal rape and castration torte that some women have to endure.  I felt bipolar as I was taken high and dropped low over and over again.  My favorite piece was the one that went through and described how women orgasm by their ethnicity or their religious beliefs.  It was hilarious and just when I thought that she wasn’t going to imitate black women she says “The African America orgasm—O SHIT O SHIT O FUCK”  Hmmm accurate?  I plead the 5th.  All in all, the show was wonderful and I would recommend it to anyone in South Korea (or anywhere else in the world anyway)  All proceeds went to the house of sharing which is the organization that supports women who were taken and made to become sex slaves to Japanese soldiers during the war.  

And wouldn’t you know, I lucked up again on the taxi ride to the bus station.  Jess and I were pretty much auditorilly  (yep I make up words) raped by the taxi driver who started talking about the words for penis and vagina in Korean.  Not only that, but he started imitating the sounds that Korean make when having sex.  It was out of control.  I recorded the video and I am going to post that utter (yet hilarious) nastiness on youtube as soon as I finish editing.  He kept it going for the whole 10 minutes to the bus station.  Assaulted by 2 different taxi drivers in one day!  Only in South Korea. 

Anywho, it was a great weekend that I will definitely add into the epic pile. 

Sooooo I wonder… If your vagina could talk, what would it say??
Mine would just giggle all day J.

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