Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Friends can make you fat

How many times have you tried to start losing weight and one friend or another begins to sabotage you?  What do I mean by sab-o-tay-gee(likes bugs bunny used to say it) you ask?  The conversation usually goes like this:

"Hey we're all going out tonight are you coming" (out being to the bar on a Monday...so not me)
"Nah I'm going to go home and cook after I work out"
"OMG are you serious...come on, have some fun"

Or some bullshit variation of the same conversation.  Ultimately, trying to talk you into doing something that is MORE fun than the workout you have to do, and MORE delicious than the healthy choice meal that is going in your microwave.  As if I don't already want to be doing ANYTHING else other than working out. In a moment of weakness, this kind of peer pressure can really derail you from your goals, and lead to the dreaded "guilt trip" that comes from "cheating" on your diet. And doesn't it suck that they are usually skinny as hell??  Feels like they like this:

And secretly they do lol!

Since Ive been in Korea, I have been derailed in this way too many times.  Not to place all of the blame on others, because I enjoyed the nights out along with the food and drinks that accompanied them, but I have had to learn to say "NO".  This may sound easy, but when your friends are going out for what will most likely be an epic evening (as they usually are in Korea), the last thing you want to do is say no, but in the weak stages it is imperative to do so. 

If you're like me, this isn't a diet, it's a complete lifestyle change.  There is no END.  Sure, there are plenty of goals, but I will probably battle with my weight until I die.  I'm sure it will get easier as time goes by, but as it stands right now, it is still a constant struggle that very few of my friends actually understand.  Most of my friends are men, and most of the rest are naturally skinny people, leaving the few who are over weight, and even fewer still who are actually doing something about it.  And then there is me: the woman who continually obsesses with my healthy routine.

Thankfully, I have a great support system online with some of my friends who I check in with and who check in with me.  Not to mention that Rob is always motivating me, holding me accountable, and lifting me up when I hit depression/guilt mode, yet never making me feel that who I am right now isn't good enough.  However, sometimes I wish I had a BF here in Korea who understood and was as dedicated as I am.  And a BF who was only MINE because I don't like to share BF's lol.  But until then, here are some strategies that I came up with to help with my motivation:

  1. Learn to say "NO"--- your friends will still be there if you tell them "No, not tonight" and reschedule for a day when you don't have a workout planned, or for a healthier choice.  SANS the damn bar!  And besides, its ultimately YOU who will be unhappy at the end of the night.
  2. Watch for accidental haters--- While I am not a fan of the word "haters", they are very real, and sometimes not on purpose.   People, especially woman, sometimes have some jealousy issues which can show themselves when you start doing better than them.  They may not like to see how shitty their own health is, or even more likely, they don't want you to look better than them.  Petty...maybe, but definitely holds some truth.  While I am dropping, most of my friends are adding the pounds on like fat is in style.  Like Rob says, "They all eating and we STARVING OUT HERE...WE HUNGRY!"
  3. Be honest--- Tell them straight up... I can't get down with this beer and pizza shit every weekend... lets try something different. Some place with more greenery than what comes on the burger. 
  4. Eat before you leave home--- Because its not fun to always stay home!  Eat a small meal before you go out and then you can just grab an appetizer!  Better safe than sorry!
 No one likes to miss out on all the fun, but remember that people with fat habits can derail you set you back.  And hopefully all of your friends don't have bad intentions and just want to hang out with you, but beware of the FAT MENTALITY!!!

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